I must confess to being initially thrown by the reader who e-mailed to enquire whether 40 was too old to wear a G-string. You may as well ask if 60 is too old to wear shoes. G-strings may not be the loveliest objects, but they are most necessary if one is to avoid the dreaded VPL.

Of all the sartorial details inexplicably overlooked by people who wouldn't know this year's It shoe from an ice-cream, VPL is not one of them. It is noticeable across the widest expanse of office floor, and not in a remotely endearing way.

Hence the G-string, the V-string and the even skimpier T-string (a novel way to teach the alphabet, at least). All these have been with us in one form or another for the past 70,000 years, which makes their status as a classic even more secure than the Balenciaga Lariat bag. But still a pall of suspicion hangs over them. True, it is a very revealing piece of clothing - but only if you insist on flashing it in public. The whole point of most G-strings, surely, is that they are intended to be as discreet as possible.

I suspect that the real anguish trigger isn't what age you are now, but what age you were when G-strings stopped being the preserve of showgirls and strippers and invaded the mainstream - some time in the late Eighties. If you were young enough (either in mind or body) to embrace them then, chances are you have carried on wearing them. If, on the other hand, you weren't convinced, you're probably appalled by them now.

Fortunately, they are not the only answer to VPL. Frilly French knickers do it for some women, although they work only under loose clothes. Boxer shorts do it for others, although they're a bit of a kerfuffle.

Alternatively, there are Marks & Spencer's glorious No VPL low-rise shorts, £4 (0845 302 1234; marksandspencer.com). These do precisely what they promise, without any silly “French maid” statements, or making you look like a girl who would really rather be a boy. Nicely cut, smooth seams, kind on buttock cellulite - isn't human ingenuity a marvel?

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