You would think, given our elemental circumstances and magnificent seafaring history, that the British would have the wet look down par excellence. We do not.

Matters deteriorate with maturity. It used to be that some time after hitting their late fifties, women would age themselves 30 years by adopting tight little perms that made them look like hydrangeas – hydrangeas that not even Alan Titchmarsh would fancy. They don’t do the perms any more. They just raid Bill Oddie’s skip for wet-weather gear.

Why? How can any woman who remotely cares about the way she looks let it all go hang just because there’s a danger of drizzle? Is it because, as Kanye West, a newcomer to this column, recently observed, “It’s way harder to dress down than to dress up”? It is hard, Kanye, but not that hard. It is also August. There’s not a lot else on. Time, then, for a lesson in Finding the Perfect Waterproof, especially if you are planning an oh-so-fashionable staycation (aka holiday at home).

Since we are talking holidays (and weekends, and any other occasion when slipping into an immaculate cream trench coat from some luxurious Italian brand such as Tod’s, however lovely, would be blatantly inappropriate), I am steering clear of anything overtly fashionable. What we are aiming for is something intrinsically stylish and enduring. It needs to be functional, but someone at some point also needs to have given a thought to its cut. Blouson is fine, shapeless isn’t. Sportive is a nice idea, but if it’s cropped at the waist, it won’t keep you dry. Those outer shells that are so handy for skiing just don’t look nice away from the slopes – and they’re heavy.

How to get dressed: Staying in season

Minimalism is creeping back, led by Jil Sander and Bottega Veneta

BACKGROUND

• How to get dressed: the Miraclesuit

• How to get dressed: Sunglasses

• Louboutin: the most wanted shoe brand

• Why everything is now designer

• Matching your hemline to the economy

What you want is something that can be rolled up in a bag. Millets, another newcomer to this column – and there you were thinking that enduring style is fashion ed speak for stupidly expensive – has a nifty black nylon number, a bit like a trench, complete with collar and waist-defining belt, and I’ll warrant it could be scrunched up and put in a pocket (£19.99 from www.millets.co.uk). Then there’s the ruffle navy parka – 100 per cent polyester, a good length and nicely shaped, from Marks & Spencer’s Limited Collection, £69, or Gap’s hooded charcoal parka with tartan lining, £68.

If you’re looking for something high-performance, Aigle’s stanway woman’s chocolate brown jacket with detachable fleece gilet (£109, www.barnack.co.uk) is French, ergo nicely cut. Barbour isn’t French, but these days, its jackets are very nicely cut too. I love the Winter International jacket – a sexy (yes, sexy and Barbour in the same context) motorcyclist fantasy, but in waxed cotton. Its Linhope is the lightest jacket that it has ever done (www.barbour.com). They’re quite serious, though – you need to be heading for somewhere a bit more rugged than Tesco’s.

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