1. Anything Hillary can do, our gal from Anchorage can do better, including avoiding that hideous orange trouser suit and replacing it with something much more becoming to the complexion. This has to be one of Palin’s wisest decisions so far: breaking up a rootin’-tootin’ colour with black trousers, and ensuring that the light reflects on her biggest asset, the beauty-queen face. Any allusions to soft and peachy skin are entirely intentional.

2. We love the way Sarah compliments that must-have Republican accessory, the intimidating firearm, with feminine hair and immaculate make-up. Note the expertly touselled fringe and make-up applied heavily enough to withstand enemy fire. Eat your hearts out, Balenciaga and McQueen, this is how they do tough chic in Alaska. Could she have been the inspiration behind Givenchy’s tough-looking winter collection?

3. Let Michelle Obama plunder Sixties Camelot for style tips; Miss Wasilla 1984 knows that America’s real golden age was the Eighties. Dynasty on the TV, Reagan in the White House. What could be finer? No wonder she’s beaming. This is one former beauty queen who really might get a shot at world peace. Matching the lipstick with the suit jacket was another sign of fearlessness, given the Eighties tomato ketchup shade, but it’s the Elnett hair that reassures most. Even Hurricane Gustav ain’t budging that.

4. Remember those Utopian Donna Karan ads in olden times featuring a glamorous woman being sworn in ’neath the stars ’n’ stripes? SP does. And my, doesn’t this tableau throw up some spooky questions. Do Sarah Palin and John McCain share the same stylist? The same tailor? This display of mirror-dressing shows that it’s not just policies on which the pair coincide, they are sartorial soul mates. Note the insignia on Palin’s lapel — she even knows which country she’s hoping to lead. And they said this was a choice based on image rather than substance.

Investigation: the real Sarah Palin

Can a mother of five whose experience is limited to governing a population the size of Bristol be US Vice-President?

• Sarah Palin reveals teenage daughter is pregnant

• Get the Sarah Palin look

BACKGROUND

• Palin: my teenage daughter is pregnant

Multimedia

• Sarah Vine: Bristol Palin is a person not a political football

• Palin: A woman, but not a pro-woman candidate

5. She shoots, she hunts, and now she fishes. Even when she’s all at sea, there’s a stillness, a stoutness and, dare we say it, a sagacity at the heart of that chignon. How’s that for a neat metaphor? Referencing the Great American Outdoors — a totem of the American dream — was another excellent call, even if it looks suspiciously as though she was Photo-shopped into that boat. Alternative interpretation: be prepared. What with that pesky situation with Russia, a girl never knows when she might have to drill for oil in some national park or other.

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