Men see lingerie as gift-wrapping for a shag; women generally want something more lasting than a one-night lingerie stand. No wonder expensive mistakes happen. Many men have trouble equating the scanty thing on the hanger with the woman at home. These men suffer from wife/ girlfriend dysmorphia and believe their other half is a Pussycat Doll with a penchant for slutty red lace teddies. Hence men buy flimsy triangle bras for women with big boobs, or skimpy thongs for fat-bottomed girls. For many, the equation, is an unassailable truth. But that’s not the worst of it. Buying the wrong size is the biggest faux pas. All woman take this personally, and while not grounds for divorce, it is evidence of general negligence. If you don’t know her size, ask or check the labels on the underwear she wears regularly.

Buying online removes lingerie-department panic, brought on by a proximity to too many frilly things. But to get lingerie shopping spot-on, men need to think a little more like women. So prize pretty over slutty, appreciate quality and be prepared to pay for it. And never, ever give her Spanx. That will kill the romance dead.

SHEER HEIGHTS

Men usually like slutty stuff — red lace, quarter-cup bras and crotchless panties. Women prefer a prettier, more feminine look. There is a middle ground — sheer net or tulle. Try Myla, Calvin Klein and Burberry. Sheer chiffon cami, £122, and briefs, £59,by Burberry, from net-a-porter.com

BACK TO BLACK

Women will appreciate this lace set as much as men. For added vamp, wear with sheer stockings and suspenders — but not hold-ups, as they can create a squeezed sausage look on the thigh. Rive Gauche bra, £39, and french knickers, £25, by Chantelle; 01483 300880

IN SAFE HANDS

If in doubt, go for a blue-chip brand. Few women could fail to be impressed by La Perla, which is known for its workmanship, sensual fabrics and sexy cuts. Try also Agent Provocateur and Carine Gilson. Pink lace bra, £147, and briefs, £113, by La Perla, from net-a-porter.com

BIG, BUSTY AND BEAUTIFUL

Pretty, sexy, flattering bras in larger sizes can be difficult to find. If your lady falls into this category, you need to find something more pleasing than a boulder holder. Look at brands like Fantasie, Panache and Fauve. India bra, £48, and briefs, £24, by Fauve; 01536 760282

SWEET SOMETHINGS

Most women prefer pretty and feminine to overtly sexy. Lashings of lace, soft silk, soft colours and sweet little bows tick all the right boxes. Try Elle Macpherson Intimates, Mimi Holiday and Chantelle. Boudoir 30 bra, £60, and briefs, £35, by Elle Macpherson Intimates

HOT ON THE HIGH STREET

No woman likes cheap, scratchy, synthetic lingerie, but buying good quality needn’t break the bank. Try Marks & Spencer, Karen Millen and Odille at Oasis. Put it in a beautiful box to up the luxe factor. Floral-print bra, £22, and boy shorts, £14, by Odille for Oasis

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