Who knew that when the faintest dimple on the mountain of Michelle Obama
adulation manifested itself, it would be incurred by the First Lady's
propensity to display her biceps? It began, as barely perceptible dips in
adulation (and concurrent spikes in envy) often do, when she appeared on the
March cover of American Vogue. The accompanying gallery, in which the First
Lady's fine arms were repeatedly on view, appears to have trampled on some
venerable traditions - namely, that First Lady's arms should be seen but not
bared. And when they are on view, they should at least have the good grace
to look slightly less buffed and slightly more reassuringly out of
condition.
The unease arising from the rude health of Mrs O's muscles simmered into
full-on snarkiness when The New York Times's Republican columnist David
Brooks told fellow Times columnist Maureen Dowd that the time had come for
Michelle to put away her arms. Was this the only powder in the Democrats'
muskets, he asked.
And now comes news that Michelle is to star in a comic book. Not any old
comic, but one where our heroine presides on the cover in another sleeveless
dress. So take that, you carping, bicep-grudging critics. And now that
sleeveless dress on the comic book; clearly our girl is unrepentant and,
until someone offers her conclusive proof that working out with a trainer
three times a week has an alienating effect on the voters, she will continue
with her favoured attire.
No surprise, there. Because what all the commentators weighing into armsgate
have so far failed to take into account is that, come next autumn, we'll all
be baring arms. That's because, assuming you're not planning to dress like
an anorexic hell's angel, the sleeveless dress - all gentle womanly curves
and ladylike knee lengths - is The Look for the coming months. It's already
with us to an extent, courtesy of Roland Mouret, Giambattista Valli, Oscar
de la Renta and - yes, it must be conceded - Victoria Beckham, all of whom
have been championing the grown-up, ever-so-slightly retro, sleeveless
dresses for some time. There is hardly a designer who hasn't ventured into
this territory for autumn.
Placed into the broader context, next to the inexorable covering up of the
female anatomy that has been occurring - higher necklines, thick, nay,
impenetrable legwear in which boots seem to have magically grafted
themselves onto matte black tights - it's clear that we're going through one
of the human race's periodical shifts in erogenous perception. The last time
that anyone got this heated about an exposed part of the female anatomy was
when Alexander McQueen's bumster trousers sparked a half-decade of
whale-tails and muffin tops (if only designers thought through their high
art concepts a little more).
Before that, it was Rudi Gernreich's topless swimsuits in the late Sixties.
And before that, it was the thigh-exposing, crotch-flashing excitement of
the mini. Earlier still, it was Jayne Mansfield's twin mammalian peaks.
Actually for about ten centuries it was always about bosoms, breasts being
the most obviously sexual, least impractical body parts to flash. Only the
Victorians demonstrated such fascination with naked arms (they liked them
plump), but that was all part of an obsession with the décolleté. It may say
something very peculiar and possibly alarming about our current state of
neurosis that, with cleavage entering a twilight zone of unfashionability,
Mrs O's biceps have excited so much comment.
Perhaps arms aren't being sexualised so much as fetishised and anxiously
courted as the latest emblems of girl-power and success. It takes time,
effort and probably a bit of money to hone a sightly pair, so maybe toned
arms are the new stealth-wealth, non-status status symbol. There are
certainly enough armpit-length gloves (in leather, naturally), semi-detached
and detachable sleeves to suggest this might be the case.
Not that worked-out arms are anything new, obviously - as Madonna would
testify. Or Boadicea. Or Venus de Milo. But in the Eighties, Madonna's
female body-builder biceps were well outside the parameters of mainstream
female beauty. Now designers have caught up, as well as twigging that a
sleeveless dress with matching coat or cardigan-coat offers a practical
route, not just to temperature control but to looking serious.
It may be no coincidence that the supermodels of the late Eighties, now in
their late 30s and 40s, are in resurgence - Claudia Schiffer is on the cover
of British Vogue - and that political wives such as Carla and Michelle have
left the younger batch of teenage models way behind in the slipstream of
fame. Grown-up dressing is entering the scene centre, left and right. Now
that is shocking.
Second chance
Now really isn't the time to buy cheap-looking clothes, which is where Susie
Archer comes in. Her shop of designer second-hands is fertile hunting ground
for anyone looking for high-ticket items with big reductions. If you're
lucky you'll find something from this season that's in mint condition. Or if
being of the moment isn't your priority, something that's classic and built
to last - she's got a good eye and she knows what's hot and what's quality.
Until now, the only drawback for those of us who don't live in Lincolnshire
is that it's in Stamford. Now she has set up a website for her accessories.
Don't expect knock-down prices - for pristine items you're looking at up to
half the original cost. But that's quite a saving. As of yesterday, she had
a red Chanel tote for £350 and a Gucci Jackie bag for £250 (among many
others), plus Stella McCartney sunglasses for £80.
www.archlabelagency.com
Don't get ruffled
Rules about ruffles:a few go a long way: strong colour stops them looking
twee. a belt (Banana Republic, £35; 020-7758 3550) adds definition, fierce
looking shoes, (Zara, £65.90; 020-7534 9500) add attitude. Ruffles aren't
about looking cute anymore. Think of them as tone on tone embellishment.This
cotton, deep coral Ted Baker dress gets it just right, (£120,
www.tedbaker.com) - and you can layer it.
Stop press
Jil Sander, yes, the Jil Sander, our lady of sleek cutting, fabric innovation
and fabulous minimalism, is to become a design consultant at the high street
chain Uniqlo. First fruits fall from the tree next autumn. Cannot wait.
