What was T.S. Eliot thinking? April may be the chilliest month. But cruellest? What about May? And June, July and September, when the world decides to get married, throw a village fête, up the ante on the school cheese and wine and generally dream up events which, while they may not explicitly come out with it, require some kind of dressing up.

Well, I have a solution. It has taken me 20 years to come up with it, but you can’t hurry genius. And here it is: don’t think of it as dressing up.

I’m not asking you to schlump along to your best friend’s three-years-in-the-planning-fifteen-years-in-the-waiting nuptials in jeans and a macramé bra top. I do, however, counsel not panicking and jumping on the first piece of Formal Wear you find.

Actually, don’t go near anything called Formal Wear. It dates from a lost-in-the-mists era when Hallmark cards were deemed an acceptable mode of communication. Should you find yourself standing in the vicinity of a Formal Wear department, run before you take leave of your senses and start seriously considering buying all sorts of ridiculous items – fascinators, fluty-hem “feminine” dresses that even Ugly Betty knows aren’t hip, mother-of-the-bride jackets you wouldn’t otherwise be seen dead in, satin shoes in a Special Occasion colour and silly, silly little handbags.

Apart from the most formal occasions (Royal Ascot, hanging out at Disneyland with Victoria Beckham), you don’t even need a hat. But if you are required to wear one and it makes you nervous, get a panama – they suit almost everyone, they look cool and they’re useful later on. Beautiful versions of what you feel good in will be more than fine. Love trousers? Splurge on the ultimate pair – with a classy silk shirt and fabulous jewellery and shoes, you’ll be fine for most dressy events, plus you’ll get lots of wear out of them afterwards. Feel most comfortable in T-shirts? Upgrade to gorgeous heavyweight silk or sequined ones. If you’re on a budget, consider buying vintage – you’ll get better quality for a high-street price.

Keep an eye out for über versions of your favourite staples and buy them when you see them – that way you’ll always have something to wear and won’t be tempted to panic buy. Check out Zara’s Chanel-inspired jackets this summer – they look as good slipped over a dress as they do over a T-shirt and jeans. If your taste is minimalist, consider very plain maxidresses – the length immediately makes them formal, but flat sandals will keep them looking understated. By the way, on a budget, jersey almost always looks classier than chiffon.

Whatever you wear, grooming will make or break it. Skip the novelty bag and invest in a pedicure, manicure and blow-dry instead. If it really is red-carpet dress codes, think about hiring. Girlmeetsdress.com rents out big-name designer outfits from about £100 for two nights. Sounds a lot, but it’s more cost effective than blowing £800 on something you’ll wear once.

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