All those fashionistas we’ve been seeing fanning themselves with programmes, show tickets and actual fans, aren’t really trying to keep cool at the hot, airless shows. They are trying to calm themselves down at the rumour Chloé might be hiring Melin Anderson, a senior designer from Marni, to succeed Phoebe Philo. The thought of two of the fashion industry’s favourites coming together is just too exciting; the perfect voluminous, yet feminine smock dress is poised to become more than just a glint in the front row’s eyes. A Chloé spokesperson said only, 'We do not comment on rumours,' but the fashion house said it would make an announcement about its succession plan after its show during Paris Fashion Week. Are we about to see waiting lists for clothes that haven’t even been made yet?

BA humbug

How do the fashion pack cope with Milan fashion week when the thermometer hits 30 degrees celsius and all you’ve packed is 18 pairs of woolly tights, 10-ply cashmere and your winter boots? In my case it didn’t matter, seeing as British Airways managed to lose half my luggage on the way to Milan (any fashionista’s worst nightmare come true) and four days later, I still haven’t got through to the customer care line to find out where it is - BA press office ,are you taking note? Still, other more dedicated journalists (for which, read fashion victims) didn’t let the searing sunshine deter them. Yesterday, French Vogue’s fashion director Emmanuelle Alt was spotted head to toe in black - a little desperately, perhaps, for someone that is usually so immaculately turned out in that dishevelled French Vogue sort of way - while one American editor still managed to schlep around in her Alexander McQueen sheepskin gilet. Although, granted it spent most of the time on the bench beside her. Others were more inspired. Despite selecting designer labels for Harrods, fashion and beauty director Marigay McKee managed to find three Topshop dresses in Milan for the inflated price of £250 although she dressed them up with vintage Celine shoes. The Brits were predictably the most sensible; while there is plenty of sombre black, navy and grey about, they have wisely ditched cardigans, winter coats and the 'tights worn with sandals' look.

Oh how we love a ban!

The New York Times and Style.com were not invited to Dolce & Gabbana’s collection yesterday afternoon. Although the journalists in question declined to comment, it was surely because the Italian designers were displeased at reviews from their previous season’s shows. Well judging by D&G’s hasty pastiche of eighties’ clubbers on Monday, they weren’t missing out on much. That said, yesterday’s mainline collection offered its own comic finale. In a procession that was more reminiscent of a Notting Hill carnival flotilla, models appeared in electrifyingly bright, heavily beaded, butterfly dresses. They’d obviously (much to their embarrassment) been directed to waft their arms, as they glided along like geishas. The look on Carmen Kass’s face told you she wasn’t having any of it, while Jessica Stam managed to accidentally swipe her fellow model in the face as she was walking down the catwalk. Cue suppressed giggles in the front row.
Read Lisa Armstrong's report from the Dolce & Gabbana show

Where there’s smoke . . .

But perhaps the D&G boys have something to celebrate. The opening of their restaurant, Gold, on via Poerio in Milan (just behind the duo’s Metropole show space) promises to be, well, very gold. Not quite finished in time for Milan fashion week they still managed to host an intimate dinner (for 70) although there were still workmen in the basement. The building is divided into three restaurants although confusingly, while they’re offering a healthy menu with lighter options, you can apparently also smoke there (despite smoking being banned in public places in Italy). The music on Thursday night was of the thumping, head-banging variety. “Hmm,” mused, one journalist, “I wonder if the music is always going to be so loud here”. “Good God, I hope not,” said one Dolce & Gabbana employee, “you need somewhere quiet to read the newspaper”. If it’s as glitzy an affair as their catwalk shows, it’ll certainly be a damn site more lively than Armani’s Nobu collaboration.

All in proportion

In any case D&G are upping the ante after the apparent success of Prada (which repositioned its sister brand, Miu Miu in Paris this March) with similar plans afoot for the D&G collection. The reinvented Miu Miu also called for a new store opening in Via Sant Andrea which is decked out in a rather gaudy, baroque decor. Such is the hype that even at 2pm on a Wednesday afternoon, the queue to enter the store stretched round the corner. But instead of marvelling at the shoes or clothes on display at Tuesday’s inaugural cocktail party, no one could help but gawp at the amount of badly performed botox in one room or at the following logic: the thinner the woman, the wider the sack dress. Well, obviously! No wonder Miu Miu does such a roaring trade in wedges. They cleverly help you balance out proportions.

A Princely sum?

So just how much did Versace pay Prince to perform after their show on Friday night? Apparently Versace are maintaining that he offered to do it for free for the love of Donatella. Hmm, we’re not so sure.

Marriage of convenience

The news that the Dutch duo, (Viktor Horsting and Rolf Snoeren) are collaborating with H&M to produce a wedding dress that will retail at around £200 may not be an obvious fashion marriage. These are the designers, don’t forget, that sent an entire army of models down the catwalk in black motorcycle helmets or whose main aim in life is to constantly turn fashion on its head. What next? While Alexander McQueen could certainly rustle up some taxidermy chic, Marni would be perfect for that shot-gun wedding look (well, most of their dresses make you look pregnant anyway) or how about London’s very own Gareth Pugh for the dress to frighten off your in-laws, and everyone else in the congregation, come to think of it?

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