For years children have been considered the real victims of divorce, doomed to a life of insecurity, underachievement and endless shuttling between two homes.

But two studies have found that most children whose parents split up are happy with their new life and do not see divorce as a tragedy.

A poll of 2,000 adults and 350 children published today found that 80 per cent of 10 to 15-year-olds were “quite happy” or “very happy” with their family life. The same proportion said that things were “just as good” or “better” since the separation.

Less than a third of the children (28 per cent) longed for their parents to get back together. An “end to the arguments” was cited as the greatest benefit of divorce by far.

Today is traditionally the busiest day of the year for divorce lawyers, when they are deluged with inquiries about separation. A stressful Christmas is often the last straw for an unhappy couple, experts say.

The poll was commissioned by insidedivorce.com and conducted last month by Tickbox. Its findings are supported by detailed academic research nearing completion, which has tracked the experiences of 60 children of divorced or separated parents over nine years.

Jennifer Flowerdew and Bren Neale, sociologists at the University of Leeds, are the principal researchers working on Family Dynamics after Divorce. Dr Flowerdew told The Times: “When the separation is taking place it is often very difficult and hugely challenging for everyone involved. But that is temporary. Over time the divorce fades into the background and things settle down into their new pattern.

“When the children were interviewed four years on they were very keen to emphasise that the divorce was just one of several challenges they had to face. Only a small minority got stuck, while the rest became preoccupied with the other problems of their own lives. They mostly saw themselves as leading perfectly ordinary family lives and did not want to be typecast as the children of divorced parents.”

She said that one of the biggest advances had been an end to the stigma once attached to divorce. Dr Flowerdew believes that the idea that children always fare better when their parents are married — most recently endorsed by David Cameron, the Tory leader — has not been tested.

“Just like there are many different kinds of divorces, there are many different kinds of marriages,” she said. “Some are OK and some are not and no one examines what life is like for children when the marriage is not OK.”

The poll and the research found that children came off worst when parents continued to argue over access and ignored their wishes. One fifth of the children surveyed, mostly boys, complained that they did not have enough say over where they spent their time.

'Now life is twice as fun,' says one child of divorce

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