Paul Flynn's piece pretends to be serious but I'm afraid it's just the kind of self-hating closeted representation of homosexuality that someone of my age (I'm 51) grew up with back in the dark ages. His whole presumption is that gay men are intrinsically shallow and share his own obsession with celebrity. This kind of stereotyping was always used in the past to marginalise gay men. I think we are in the process of moving on and recognising that gay men and women come in all varieties - rich, poor, stable, unstable, faithful, unfaithful etc. To use lines like "of course, where there are gay men, there is, inevitably, opulence", or "18 months is a long time on the gay-male clock" prove just how far Mr Flynn hasn't moved on.
The fact that some civil partnerships will break down is inevitable, but please take a look at the divorce statistics before you draw any conclusions about the viability of gay relationships.
For the record my partner and I have been together for 23 years.

graham, watford, UK

If your journalist knows of only one gay couple making the 10 year mark, his knowledge reflects more on his social circumstances than on gay couples. We celebrate 25 years next week, though only 16 months Civil Partnership, as the law has only recently caught up with reality. Anyway, is he a bit jealous that gays are good at partying?

George & Mike, Bude, Cornwall

Gay Civil Unions,. Extravagant bad taste, as if the event alone gives the stamp of approval to "The Party". Gay Civil Unions remind me of the old Ringling Bros. Circus which came once a year, and the whole town turned out to witness the passing event which was complete with marching band, trapeze folks, and lumbering elephents. Then the parade passed, the music faded, and all that was left was the sweeper for what the elephents had left behind.

Then darkness fell,

jim johnson, framingham, ma.

After five years it would be interesting to analyse the number of dissolved civil partnerships compared to the number common marriage divorces. I somehow feel the figures will NOT differ vastly. Heterosexual marriage/divorce has a long way to go to claim a moral high ground over civil partnership so be careful of the implication of this silly article. Queer As Folk may have made for good television but doesn't reflect average gay Joe Bloggs' lifestyle. Enough with the rambling cliché.

David John Sloan, London, United Kingdom

As a gay man who married a year ago next week, (yes August 23rd as my partner reminded me of that yesterday), I have often been asked what is i like being "married". My answer to people is simply "nothing". My loving partner has not changed into what straight men would described as a controlling wife and our life together has been very mych the same as it was before we were married. Just £30,000 poorer (gay weddings costs money too and there is no Bride's family to pay fr it all) and a pair of diamond rings to show for it all.

But deep down inside, there is a huge change. In a word, recognition. Like the feeling that my partner now benefits from my pension and would inherit what little I leave the world with without the worry of taxes and uncretain claims against my estate. Even my mortgage lender (Scottish Widows) treats us like a formal couple - not just 2 guys sharing a motgage.

Would I recommended it... gosh yes. You are not really together until you are PROPERLY together.

Dean and James, London, UK

giving someone the freedom to do something also means giving the freedom to fail at it......................... without condenmation.

feetxxxl, houston , tx

Nicely written, fun and flamboyant, but such a load of tosh! I know so many gay couples who have been together over 10 years. I've been with my husband for 29 years. I'm more hard pressed to think of straight couples that have been together that long.

Our civil partnership gained its "party" atmosphere from the bottle of Bolly I picked up from Tesco on my way home with our five witnesses. But you should have seen the "silver" party at our villa in Ibiza four years ago! Two days of ...

Who ever said that civil partnership meant monogamy? Aren't people getting confused with the Christian marriage thing - and that lot have made it quite clear whast they think of gay marriage. Just get on with your personal lives and enjoy them the way that suits you. I'm just pleased that our "legal" togetherness protects us from losing homes, property, etc on one of our deaths. We're equal - that's what counts.

Got to go now - the pool beckons ...

Dace C, Ibiza, Spain

I’m sorry but I had to laugh. OH MY GOD gay people are just like straight people, they get divorced and they sometimes make bad choices for the wrong reasons!!! Well you know what most people knew that one. As for the implication that gay men have less stable relationships and can’t commit I think that’s more to do with the circles you move in. As I sit at my breakfast table drinking coffee looking at my 30th anniversary coming up I can think of at least half a dozen gay couples who at looking at 20 years together not 10. I have to say that’s probably because I’m now middle aged and so are my friends. I wonder if your article would have been more relevant if it had discussed why gay man in the UK accept the sexual apartheid of Civil Partnerships instead of marriage! I mean everyone knows we can’t love each other the way opposite sex couples can. A fact reinforced by your article.

Martin Ford , Newcastle upon Tyne , UK

It does shine a light on relationships and make people question how committed they are to each other but is that such a bad thing?

I think it is wonderful that we can now celebrate our commitment with friends and family and gain legal status for our relationship.

Nicola Hill
Author, A Very Pink Wedding

nicola hill, London, UK

the article raises important questions around institutionalisation of relationships and the manner in which relationships should be led within the respectability of the civil partnership.
what I personally find difficult o grasp is why on earth anyone should want to get married in the first place. I mean, I know the reasons because I grew up with them and with marriage happening around me but today when I hear of a couple getting married I think it a rather odd choice to make. I do not think I am am out of touch witht the social or moral zeitgeist but can't help but feel that it's a false dilemma, or an irrelant consideration.
If gay men want to ask themselves the same sorts of questions that straight people ask themselves when considering marriage, (Are we sure/ready. Is it the right choice? Do we feel the commitment deeply?) they must also ask themslves if there are the social and economic support systems which have been there for traditional marrriages.

steve kleist, berlin, Germany