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The divorce rate has hit a 22-year low, according to statistics that suggest younger married couples no longer regard it as a “get out of jail free” card when things go wrong.
However, the figures from the Office for National Statistics show that growing numbers of the over60s are still dumping their partners and reclaiming their independence.
Experts said that the overall decline may reflect a reluctance among married couples whose own parents were divorced to inflict the experience on their own children.
Claire Tyler, chief executive of the counselling organisation Relate, said: “The current generation of married people is far more likely to have seen their own parents go through divorce than the generation before them. They know the impact it had on their family and on themselves and the thought of repeating that pattern weighs heavily on their minds.”
Julia Cole, a leading relationship counsellor, agreed: “We have gone from the mindset prevalent in the late Eighties and early Nineties that if you weren’t happy you could just get divorced to one where people realise that divorce is not a get-out-of-jail-free card.
“More people see now that it causes pain for adults and that it is particularly difficult for children if it is not an amicable split.”
The figures for England and Wales show a fall last year in the divorce rate to 12.2 for every thousand married men and women. This is the second consecutive annual fall. The 2005 figure was 13.1.
There was also a drop in the number of divorces, itself a reflection of a long-term decline in the number of marriages. Last year 132,562 married couples divorced, a drop of 6.5 per cent on 2005 and the third annual drop in succession. This is the lowest since 1977.
Divorce rates were highest among people in their late twenties – although overall, the average age of people divorcing was higher, at 40.9 for women and 43.4 for men.
Divorce rates for both men and women fell across all age groups, apart from men aged 60 and over, where there was a small increase. Ms Tyler said that greater longevity was at the root of this latter trend. “With greater life expectancy, people have more ambitious ideas about what they want from life as they get older,” she said.
Marilyn Stowe, head of the family law unit at the lawyer Grahame Stowe Bateson, said that the overall fall in the divorce rate reflected changes in society with fewer – but often more stable – marriages.
“One reason could be that more couples are living together than is generally recognised,” she said. “Couples are also tending to marry later and therefore their marriage may be likely to last – because they are making wiser decisions,” she said.
Andrea McLaren, of the London matrimonial practice at the chartered accountant Grant Thornton, said that highly publicised big-money divorce cases that had gone through the courts may be deterring both those considering marriage and those contemplating divorce.
At Relate, Ms Tyler added that today’s married couples were more willing than those of previous generations to seek couple counselling when things went wrong.
She added, however, that the fall in the divorce rate was disguising the true picture of family breakdown because the statistics do not show the high number of cohabitees who split up.
Last year 125,000 children aged under 16 experienced their parents divorcing. A similar number of children experienced their cohabiting parents going their separate ways.
In Scotland there was a near-20 per cent surge in the number of divorces, up from 10,940 in 2005 to 13,014 last year. The Office for National Statistics said that the hike could be the result of a sharp cut in the required separation period that came into effect in Scotland in May last year.
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How many men have been duped by both women and the government/societies laws into getting married? If the latest generation of marriagable men are refusing marriage then all they are doing is protesting, correctly, against the crazy western societies values to put pressure on them to do so.The government even taxes and penalises men for cohabiting, so I say let women stand on their own two feet more. Never mind giving free condoms to men ,promote public infertility in young women and then let the government introduce AI if they cannot find a husband to fuel the demand for cheap labour. Let them be the bread winner and put a warning sign on every one. "This person can seriously damage your wealth" Children? The world needs to lower the population explosion in any case. Men? If they have any sense they have joined the huge migration from "ancient " Briton
Giles Wynne, Lower Slaughter, UK
Well yes, when couples are now giving up on marriage. Commonsense tells you that the figures for divorces will drop. I would like to know how much this quango has cost the taxpayers?
ann, London, uk
The apparent fall in the divorce rate disguises the real incidence of family breakdown because the relevant statistics exclude not only failed cohabiting relationships but also the number of marriages which have broken down but which have not been ended by divorce.
Justinian, Berkshire, UK
Without marriage the children of this union are not properly disciplined nor have the values that will prepare them for their place in society in years to come. Single parent households are not an option but purely a vote catcher by this government who give only basic monies and allowances to survive. Those choosing to live together isn't in my eyes a lasting bond as there is no legalised committment and either side can split "at the drop of a hat". Children are left in limbo as the mothers family name is not considered. We must return to a valued society of family values but presently I see no future in this country of my birth.
Mike, Burley-in-Wharfedale, West Yorkshire
Probably explains why domestic violence is on the rise...!
Marriage is a just very expensive excuse for people to get all dressed up, go to church, have a nice meal afterwards, a few drinks and finish the night off with a good fight. Or was that just my wedding?
Rod Munch, Northampton, UK