Feeling sweet doesn’t really get men going. In fact, for most of us it’s a bit emasculating. It’s not that we don’t like to be sweet, we do. . . it’s just that it’s not a sexy feeling.

Having someone be sweet to us is nice too, but, again, it’s not a turn on. I can’t imagine a bloke saying to his wife, ‘Ah, you bought me just the jumper I wanted for Christmas, gosh that makes me want to have sex with you’.

With men, think simple and think depressing. Foul as it is, he will find you a lot more attractive if you let him know how funny, clever, brave or strong he is on a regular basis. Women want caring for; men want looking up to.

That, pretty much, exhausts the mental option. It’s unpleasant, but true, that your best way to turn a man on is to put it on a plate for him.

This doesn’t mean that you have to leap on him naked as he comes through the door. What it does mean is that, through the massage, through the kissing, or the dinner, the idea of sex is never far away. You might want to put some doubt in his mind to let him feel that he’s won you over, to enjoy the chase, but it’s the potential for sex that will turn him on.

In this way male sexuality seems to require almost the reverse of what the women in Emma and Lorelei’s article are asking for. To have sex – as opposed to forming a relationship – men don’t need to feel wanted as people, but desired as bodies. This is why a woman painted on the side of a military aircraft will never be depicted buying a nice gift that shows a man she loves him, but wearing fishnet stockings, devil horns and giving a saucy wink that says she’s ready any time.

In seducing a man, what you wear plays a big part. It doesn’t need to be the full suspenders-and-basque kit – just not a 10-year-old house coat, jogging bottoms and slippers with a squashed chip stuck to the bottom.

That said, if in doubt, porn it up in word, clothes and action. Strong signals of sexual availability really do it for us. A man finds it seductive that the woman is showing that she won’t ask him to go through a lot of preliminaries. When I say “preliminaries”, I don’t mean foreplay, which is for many men the best part of sex. It’s just that he won’t have to coax, coo and tell her that he loves her. That’s all fine if you’re in the mood, exciting when you’re first seeing someone, but a bit irritating if you have to go through it every time.

However, don’t assume that men are always up for it either. If my computer won’t print, then my wife entering the room in a low-cut wench’s blouse and saying “Rub your tummy, mister?” in a rural accent isn’t going to stop me calling the helpline.

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