I’m sure I’m not the only person who hides such a guilty secret, and I’m equally sure that anyone in my position would guard it as ferociously as I do.

Once, sometimes twice, a month I meet up with Justin, a 36-year-old divorcé. We go out for a meal and maybe to a club before spending the night in a hotel. I am a divorced mum and work part time to spend as much time as I can with my four children. Justin also has four children. But what differentiates our dates from the norm is that I pay for Justin’s company, including having sex with him.

This arrangement has worked very well for me for the past three years and I hope it continues. My exhusband and I get on pretty well, but I don’t want all the complications involved in getting into a relationship – I want to be able to concentrate on my children, my job and my life without introducing a man who might well walk out at some point, thus upsetting the children. Although I know I could go out a couple of times a month and find someone for sex I don’t have the time or energy for a series of one-night stands – I want to know exactly what’s going to happen without any worries about the next day.

My exhusband and I had a great sex life, so when our marriage ended, I decided to go online and see if anyone out there could fill the gap. I found a huge number of websites and adverts offering a wide range of services. In the end I found Justin. He costs £200 for an hour, £270 for three hours and £600 for overnight – and every penny is well spent.

Our first encounter was nerve-racking and my main worry was that I might not find him attractive, although I definitely went out with sex on my mind. I booked into a hotel and spent ages getting ready, then Justin came to collect me and we went out to dinner. He’s very good-looking and extremely fit, so despite my nerves there was an instant spark and we had a great time.

He makes me feel that I’m the centre of attention, he’s very protective and caring, we have a laugh and a chat and the sex gets better and better. He always makes it special with candles and things. How many men would still be doing that after three years in an ordinary relationship?

I live in quite a small village and we meet up in a nearby big city at weekends when my ex has the children. On these weekends I always go for a night out with my girlfriends on the Friday, or have them round to mine, so nobody really expects to see me on the Saturday night. I’ve always enjoyed creative writing and walking, so I occasionally casually mention going away with my walking group or to a writing seminar. I phone the children to say good-night, and on the one occasion when their dad phoned me I just chatted away as if I were at home.

Before I leave the house on Saturday I phone my parents and sisters for long, leisurely chats, knowing that they’re then unlikely to phone me back for a few days, though I always make a point of checking for messages last thing on the Saturday night and first thing Sunday morning. My mobile is always on, so I can be reached any time, and I tend not to have more than two drinks, so I could get home in a hurry if I had to.

I don’t leave home all dressed up, and even go out of my way to make it look as if I’ve just popped out – I can reach my garage from the kitchen so I put my case in the boot and then drive out casually dressed in jeans and T-shirt. Getting all done up at the hotel is part of the fun – my transition period from one life to another.

This way I’m very satisfied sexually, which makes me a much calmer and happier person, and I do like the secrecy element of this arrangement. I keep both lives totally separate and Justin doesn’t know where I live, what I do or even my real surname. I get a real buzz out of my elegant, controlled image and the fact that no one knows I’ve got a secret side – one that would shock everyone.

Do you live with a family secret?

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