SUZI GODSON
Toughie. I guess a guy with a smaller penis finds it easier to pee in, rather
than on, the toilet, but the long schlong is more versatile for genital
origami. Seriously though, when it comes to sex, an enormous penis is an
asset only if you are planning a career in porn. Women, like men, come in
all shapes and sizes and our genitals tend to be proportionate.
Put it this way. If 6ft Uma Thurman can park a Volvo XC90, 5ft Kylie Minogue
is probably good with a Mini. That's not to say she couldn't cope with a
Volvo (the vagina is a Nissan Micra that can expand into a Renault Espace),
but the point is, she would be just as happy with a Mini.
When the vagina is in its resting state, the walls connect with each other and
it closes around whatever is inserted, regardless of size. It can hold snug
around a tampon or it can stretch like elastic to deliver a baby. This
ability to adapt to fit any size of penis led the researchers William
Masters and Virginia E. Johnson to conclude that penis size cannot have a
true physiological effect on female sexual satisfaction. They observed an
exhausting 10,000 complete cycles of sexual response to arrive at their
conclusions in 1966, but not everyone agrees with them.
In a small study in 2000, Russell Eisenman of the University of Texas-Pan
American, found that 45 out of 50 women questioned stated that girth was
significant in sexual satisfaction.
Unfortunately, the Eisenman study did not offer measurements as to what an
“unacceptable” girth might be. Another survey, by David A. Frederick in
2006, suggests that the average (5.5in long, 4.85in circumference) penis is
sufficient for most women. His online analysis of 54,865 respondants found
that 85 per cent of women were satisfied with their partner's penis size,
yet only 55 per cent of the men questioned felt happy about their genitals.
In a 1988 study published in the Journal of Sex Research, Paul Jamison and
Paul Gebhard analysed data from the Kinsey Institute on erect and flaccid
penises. They concluded that men's penises fall into two categories:
“growers” (those that gain size when erect); and “showers” (those that get
erect, but with little change in size).
It is pointlessly masochistic, but there is something reassuring about the
tyranny of penis size. Women worry about their weight every 15 minutes, but
extreme thinness rarely equates to attractiveness for men. Similarly, the XL
penis that so many men aspire to contributes zero to female sexual pleasure
as three quarters of all women cannot achieve orgasm through penetration
alone. Clitoral and vulval stimulation is the key to female sexual response.
Statistics from the Social Organisation of Sexuality survey (Laumann, Gagnon,
Michael and Michaels) reveal that while 75 per cent of men always have an
orgasm during intercourse, only 28.6 per cent of women do. This suggests
that men need to spend less time worrying about the size of their engine and
more time searching for the ignition.
Suzi Godson is the author of The Sex Book (Cassell, £16.99) and The Body Bible
(Penguin, £16.99)
DR THOMAS STUTTAFORD
Unlike vegetables such as courgettes, cucumbers or pumpkins grown to win a
rosette at a local agricultural show or to satisfy the supermarket buyer,
size, colour or shape are not the criteria by which men are judged as
lovers. Enthusiastic gardeners compete over the size of vegetables but
ignore consistency and flavour and, therefore, the pleasure they could
provide. Penises are different. They are created in all shapes, sizes and
colours, but fortunately, quality of lovemaking is not determined by
anatomical factors.
A large penis, although it may prompt immediate admiration and have a
pronounced wow effect, won't make much difference to a man's ability as a
lover. Sexual skill depends more on what is between the ears than the legs.
The only dubious advantage of a monster penis is that it could lead to a
career as a porn actor.
I have discussed penile size and appearance, especially as it varies between
circumcised or uncircumcised, with the prostitutes I used to treat in the
clinic. The opinion of an average woman, who has relatively few contacts, is
too influenced by the intensity of her emotional attachment to men she has
known sexually.
The prostitutes, who have no lasting interest in a man, give an unemotional
appraisal and this judgment was shared almost universally. For a single
night, the prostitutes found that an average-sized penis was easiest to
service. They dreaded having to face the potential porn star's huge organ.
One group of prostitutes even drew lots when a regular customer with a giant
penis came into their street. It was the loser, not the winner, who catered
for him.
A very small penis could present difficulties but, at worst, the woman might
be bored. There was almost complete agreement among the prostitutes, based
on experience rather than affection or emotion, that girth was more
important than length. There was complete agreement that, so far as use
rather than appearance is concerned, average is best.
As there are variations in size and shape of penises depending on regional,
racial and familial inheritance, there is no universal average length or
girth. Even so, text books suggest that an average erect penis is between
5in and 7½in, when it is measured from the pubic bone to its tip and between
1in and 2in in girth. Girth and length when non- erect varies according to
temperature, but is usually about half of what it is when erect.
There is no minimum size of penis that precludes satisfactory lovemaking.
Research published in the Journal of Urology demonstrated that having a
micro penis didn't alter a man's chance of finding girlfriends. Furthermore,
affairs with men with tiny penises not only lasted as long as those of men
with larger penises, but the chances of any long-term relationship or
marriage lasting was greater than that of their better endowed
contemporaries.
In many ancient cultures penises were venerated as the source of life. The
male obsession with size remains, even though it has no cultural or
religious foundation. It is now only a manifestation of men being more
interested in physical appearance - including their own - than the emotional
aspects of relationships.
Dr Thomas Stuttaford, the Times doctor, spent many years working in a
genitourinary clinic
