Adolescent males may breathe a sigh of relief that they don't have to make that promised call as they skulk off from a date, but who expects much from them? Sadly, I've found that phone-you phobia - when men promise to call after a seemingly good date and never do - still lurks where least expected.

I had to sigh quietly when a client recounted her recent dating experience. Jessie, 29, had what she thought was a lovely first date with George, 31, a fellow legal professional. They'd arranged to have drinks and hit it off so well that he suggested going on for dinner (remember that detail - he wanted to continue the evening). Later, they shared a pleasant kiss and he uttered the immortal words that put a smile on her face: “I'll ring you.”

Three weeks and no call and she wonders what she did wrong. I felt for Jessie, as she was absolutely lovely. The audacity of the man. Not only did he let Jessie down, leaving her with fairly typical feelings that “it must be me”, but undoubtedly he embarrassed the friends who introduced them in the first place.

Doesn't he have to deal with tricky situations at work? Obviously nothing as tricky as the fear that it could go wrong, or that a situation might be so awkward that you can't ring someone to say you won't be getting together. How pathetic.

You could argue that, after a first date, no one is owed that call. Then don't say you're going to ring if you don't mean it! Is it impossible to say simply that you've had a nice time and leave it at that? If you've experienced this phobia of the phone-you type, please put it down to him. When you start blaming yourself, you let his bad behaviour off the hook.

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