Forget about careful driving and wide-fitting shoes — life today is miles more stimulating for baby-boomers. They’re healthier and happier and longer-living than any of their predecessors and, having made it into their sixties with their libido more or less intact, have no intention of going slow in the bedroom. Helped by Viagra and a more relaxed, horizontal approach to relationships and marriage, it seems that double chins, love handles and bingo wings are no longer a turn-off. With children having flown the nest and plenty of savings to splash out, 60 is suddenly sexy. Throw in Joan Bakewell’s appointment as “tsar for the elderly”, Helen Mirren in a red-hot bikini and Carmen Dell’Orefice still modelling at a glamorous 77, you can see why Sagazoners — Saga Zone is a sort of Facebook for grown-ups — are chatting so explicitly online. In fact, a recent survey by the website found that two-thirds of men and women aged 60-64 said they were still sexually active, with almost half of those getting between the sheets at least once a week. It also buried a widely touted myth, with three-quarters claiming that sex does not become more boring as you get older.

Pam, 63, is typical: “If I am honest — and I generally am — sex is just as important to me now as it ever was, and, joy of joys, I can’t get pregnant!” Joy agrees: “Even though we all grow older, it shouldn’t bar us from a bit of rumpy-pumpy, should it?” Likewise Willy: “I would rather be on my own than in a sexless marriage — frustration is a terrible thing.”

It is not only sex that the older generation is so wholeheartedly embracing — they’re behaving in every way like born-again teens. Emma Soames, Saga magazine’s editor-at-large, reports that during a Leonard Cohen concert in the Albert Hall earlier this month, “when he sang, ‘If you want a doctor, I’ll examine every inch of you’, there were audible yelps from the crowd. He’s 74”, she says. “The myth that once you hit 60 your life is over is well and truly dead. At this age, there is less pressure and it’s likely that you feel more comfortable about your body.”

A spring chicken at 90, the writer Diana Athill concurs. “To me, 60 seems rather young,” she says with a dry chuckle. “I certainly enjoyed sex in my seventies. Eventually I lost the urge, but I’ve known many others who went on for a lot longer.” Famous for growing old disgracefully, she detailed her colourful adventures in her recent autobiography, Somewhere Towards the End, in which she writes about several affairs with married men, including a ménage à trois. Suburban dinner parties between consenting pensioners are also witnessing an increase in the use of soft W drugs. And that’s not all. A London dentist reports how his wife began to feel distinctly uncomfortable when, after plenty of wine and a few after-dinner joints, an innocent-looking parlour game in the Cotswolds turned into a full-on strip-fest. “The hostess, who was just into her sixties, couldn’t wait to show off her new boob job and had her top off as fast as a bride’s nightie,” says Robert, 57, whose wife, Jane, 52, had feigned illness and gone to bed in a state of shock. “That left me, two other straight couples and two gays. The boys whipped their trousers off straightaway, which was pretty scary stuff. I’m not proud of my body — I don’t even expose that much when I’m holiday — so I stayed up long enough to be polite, then joined Jane in bed while I still had my boxers.”

Among older people, attitudes to misbehaviour are certainly changing. October saw the publication of Groovy Old Men: A Spotter’s Guide, by Nick Baker, 56. “It’s a state of mind,” he says. “They have a huge back catalogue of film, music and style references and like to pick and choose — they love Amy Winehouse and see her as the new Dusty Springfield.” Now these men have “reached their sixties and they don’t give a shit”, says Baker, who counts Bill Nighy, Bryan Ferry and Paul Smith among their number. “Not trying too hard is the crux. If you are, then you’re definitely not a Groovy Old Man.” For Baker, “there is no question that an older generation is in its ascendancy and older men are able to enjoy themselves in the bedroom. Because of Viagra, which looks after the mechanics, it’s now about choice. Age no longer matters”.

It’s not all just good fun, however. Because older couples have no fear of pregnancy and are of the pre-Aids, free-love generation, few give unprotected sex a second thought. Thus the big fly in the ointment is sexually transmitted infections, which have tripled in the over-65s in the past six years. Some find that they have picked up something rather unpleasant in their retirement.

So an increasing number of them can be found hiding behind their newspapers in waiting rooms at STI clinics with the symptoms of chlamydia, syphilis and genital warts. Syphilis has tripled among the over-65s and doubled in the 35-64 age group. Chlamydia has also risen, by 51% in 35- to 64-year-olds and by 37% in over-65s.

Dr Eoghan MacSweeney is medical director at CityDoc, a private healthcare service in London and Birmingham. “I saw someone over 60 this morning whose lack of understanding was frightening,” he says. MacSweeney believes that sex education should not merely be for the young. “Marriage is not the same institution it once was, and older people have become more laissez faire when it comes to relationships. Viagra is partly responsible, but there has been a twist in sexual behaviour.”

Moreover, the resumption of youthful practices does not suit everyone. “Half of \ prescriptions are not repeated,” says Val Sampson, a couples councillor and author of Tantra: The Art of Mind-Blowing Sex. The initial thrill of the pill may be great, but “what it doesn’t do is sort out relationships, and if you’ve not had penetrative sex for a decade, resuming at the drop of a hat can come as a shock. Mutual pleasure is so not about wham, bam, thank you ma’am”.

Which, one might argue, is something they’re old enough to know.

What's sex really like when you're older?

Susan*, 61, is in a relationship with a man in his sixties "I was married for a long time, but it wasn’t good sexually. Since it ended 16 years ago, I’ve been making up for lost time. At my age your inhibitions go out the window — it’s great. I’m not worried about what people think any more: I’m my own person. I enjoy sex now and need it more than ever. My boyfriend has to use Viagra — sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I do other things when he’s not around, too: thank God for the Rabbit."

Agony aunt Irma Kurtz, 73, is single. "With age, sex becomes less pressing — you might say more cuddly. Nature is no longer agitating for reproduction and the competitive thrust among men especially has a — dare I say — softer edge. Better than ever? No. Just the fruit of a different season. Where love remains, the sex remains, too. But out and out cruising for it and obsessing about it is for the young. For the first time, on moving house recently, I bought a single bed. I have always believed it is easier to give up those things we have enjoyed fully, so I do not miss sex. Just as when I gave up smoking long ago, I found the day had more hours in it."

Irma Kurtz’s new book, About Time: Growing Old Disgracefully (John Murray £16.99), is published on March 5

Tom*, early seventies. Divorced 13 years ago, he has been dating since. "We grew up in a much more repressed age. The sexual revolution passed me by — I was busy trying to get on with my life and make money. Now, I don’t think sex in your seventies is different from sex at any other age. You hear people saying 50 is the new 30. When my grandmother was 60 she was an old lady. Women my age today aren’t old ladies — they can be extremely attractive. Dress and hair colouring have a great deal to do with it."

Wendy Salisbury, 62, has married and divorced twice, and has been dating since her forties. "A couple of decades ago, if someone was alone at 60, that would be it for them. But now single old people are dating more than their children do. We all still want love, and the love of family and friends is wonderful, but it’s not the same as romantic love. We embrace sex, talk about it, think about it. Everything ages, except feelings. It’s our children who are embarrassed, not us. Internet dating has made it possible to keep dating — I meet men there and in the normal quarters of life, such as estate agents or policemen. Sixty is a new lease of life."

Wendy Salisbury is the author of The Toyboy Diaries (Old Sreet £7.99)

Nick*, 66, has been dating for the past 30 years after his two marriages broke down. "As you get older you become more confident about yourself and learn to make the most of it. My last long-term relationship was phenomenally active. We had sex every day — it was like being a 25-year-old. The woman I am dating now is five years younger than me, but has a phenomenal figure and we make love every time we stay over together. If I’m with someone I really want, I have no physical problems."

Michael*, 59, a widower, is about to marry a woman he met on Friends Reunited. "When I was young, sex was a question of quantity rather than quality. After marriage, it became routine, and, with the advent of children, less frequent. The stresses of time, work, money and kids are not conducive to a wonderful love life. Then there was my wife’s long illness and no sex at all for years. After her death, I went onto Friends Reunited Dating. I didn't expect to find a new partner, but, amazingly, that is what happened. I think about sex more now than at any time since my teens and early twenties."

* Names have been changed

Olivia Gordon

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