It's so tempting to pass comment on a friend's relationship. “Don't you think you're rushing things?”; “Does he treat you well enough?”; “I think she's a bit bossy/barking/boastful,” are things you might be dying to say. But unless your friend has asked you for your “expert” opinion, keep it zipped.

A male friend, Paul, is annoyed with one of his friends for interfering in the way he treats his girlfriend. He's so annoyed that he feels he might have to choose between the two. Friend or girlfriend - that's the question.

Paul treats his girlfriend, Jane, like a princess. I must say she laps it up and is rather spoilt. I figure though, as do most of our friends, that it's his business if he spoils her. And it's her business if she allows him to wait on her hand and foot, when they're together.

Friends and sometimes family members feel that they have a right to pass judgment because they've known you longer than a partner or because as friends they feel that they don't have a hidden agenda - they simply have your best interests at heart.

And of course it's sometimes about not having enough going on in their own worlds so they pay too much attention to yours. Whatever their reason, as I said to Paul, a quiet but direct word can silence annoying interference. Better than losing a friendship or dispatching a new partner because of the drip, drip, drip effect.

Yes, if a friend ends up in an abusive relationship you should interfere. Or if they ask for advice or your thoughts about a partner, then pass comment. Just be cautious with criticisms and tread carefully with complaints.

Anouncing to someone such as Paul that Jane is “hardly a princess worthy of spoiling” may land you in hot water.

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