I was 19 when we met. We were doing a group project at university and the funny thing is that I never noticed him; someone who a few months later I thought the best looking guy I'd known, who made me want to be a better person - the man I thought I'd marry.

We dated and he became my best friend and my lover. We were a team. During exams we would study in the library in the day and then rush to his house for a quickie before returning to the library. We'd take breaks from our books just to kiss in the library stairwell. He supported me and stood up for me; I respected and admired him. He made me feel confident and beautiful.

The first of our problems was that I lied to him. I wanted him to think I was a good girl because I knew that's what he was looking for. I lied about how many men I had been with before him. I don't know why. He would unravel every lie by quizzing and testing me and eventually knew every detail of every sexual experience I'd had.

The second problem was when I got my dream job in London while he remained, after he graduated, back home in a boring, dead-end admin job. The first month of my new job was hell. He'd make me call him every lunchtime and e-mail him many times in the day. I felt trapped. We'd have shouting arguments. I spent so much time and effort battling with him that I didn't have a chance to fight for the relationship. I fell out of love with him.

The rest of our time together was spent with me pretending I was in love with him. I was grossly unhappy. He would tell me in a joking way that I would never do better than him. I realise now that was just to keep me.

When he did move down to London there was nothing left, only the fond memory of what we once had keeping us together. I wish I'd had the conviction to believe in my feelings and end it earlier.

When we did finish, I felt one day of panic and then I was free. It scares me how much in love you can fall with someone who, one year later, you couldn't love at all.

Do you have an affair to remember? E-mail your 500-word story to loveaffair@thetimes.co.uk

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