I walked into the bank and, although I couldn’t be completely sure, I knew in my heart it was him. I’d forgotten he even worked for the bank; after all it had been 23 years since I had very harshly, and with much guilt, dumped him in a telephone call. He sobbed and said he wanted to marry me. I was horrid and said I did not. Safe in my complacency that I would never see him again, I buried all the feelings I had.

As the eldest child, I was compliant and never doubted my parents dislike of him. They made it clear he was not right for me. I acquiesced and married someone else more suitable.

But this sudden meeting, it shook me completely. All the guilt and love I thought I had successfully erased as a teenager all those years ago suddenly came viciously to the surface. Now a middle-aged woman, I was horrified to find myself sobbing uncontrollably for months. My husband had little patience. He was distracted by work, didn’t want to know — and I couldn’t tell him.

I met my former boyfriend in secret for coffee or lunch every so often. I fell deeply in love. He loved his wife. My marriage was unhappy and unsatisfactory. He was happy with his life; I was not. I went to counselling and was shocked to discover that my innocent meetings were labelled as an “affair”. I wouldn’t, couldn’t, give up these trysts. Just to see him, sit close enough for our legs to touch, arms to brush. I was told I was living a fantasy by my counsellor. Friends were worried that I’d be hurt. It was too late for that. I was already living in a permanent state of pain, with me mentally walking away on numerous occasions but never having the courage of my convictions to do it. His words in my head . . . “Now that I’ve found you, I don’t want to lose you again”.

My guilt at meeting him like this made me feel adulterous and yet I longed to kiss him, then at one parting I did, a brief brush on the cheek . . .

Now when we part we play at just good friends. Guilt and regret are dreadful feelings in a grown woman. Isn’t it true that the older you are the more deeply you feel hurt and pain? It’s really not so easy to move on.

The love I have for him has not lessened over time. He is cautious, anxious not to be found out, that nothing should disrupt his comfortable life — and yet he still sees me. I am always surprised at my recklessness. Married as we are to other people, there really is no future in this, but I love him and know now that I always will. First love never leaves you; you carry it in your heart always.

Do you have an affair to remember? E-mail your 500-word story to:

loveaffair@thetimes.co.uk

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