INSECT MISERY

I’m seeing a girl who’s much younger than me. I have a lot of affection for her, but at the moment the relation is purely platonic. She loves being with me and I think the relationship could develop into something physical. However, her politics and mine are very different: she supports things like Greenpeace and the Green Party and she’s a vegetarian. My problem is that there’s a wasps’ nest under her patio and when we sit out they’re a real nuisance. Normally I wouldn’t hesitate to kill them and destroy the nest. But given my girlfriend’s ecological leanings and love of nature, would she go off me if I suggest that, or does she expect me to deal with the nest and considers me a bit of a wimp for doing nothing?

AG, Beaconsfield

Nobody likes wasps. They are the Nazis of the animal kingdom. Destroying them makes the world a better place. Carpet bomb the patio now.

SEPARATE BUT TOGETHER

I have a problem that needs to be resolved sharpish. My girlfriend told me that after a year together we should spend two weeks apart. Reluctantly I agreed and have now booked flights to stay with friends in New Zealand. When I told her about this, she flipped and said that if I go, she won’t speak to me ever again. But if we are to be apart for two weeks, surely it makes no odds where I am? What should I do?

RW, Norfolk

It is not where you will be in those two weeks so much as the fact that you have booked yourself the holiday of a lifetime without her. This seems to indicate you are an insensitive dolt, but then this kind of behaviour is hardly untypical of men. However, I am puzzled why your girlfriend wants a two-week break in your relationship in the first place. Perhaps she simply wants to recharge her batteries with a little time off from your relationship so that she can tackle it with renewed vigour when you get back together, or perhaps she’s just peculiar.

ONLY AFTER ONE THING

I am a 44-year-old female teacher who has had two dates with a doctor (male, 54). We were due to have our third date on Friday. However, he was recently very honest about his ex-wife — “Still looks bloody good for her age... never stopped fancying her” — so I cancelled. He replied with the following message: “Had four dates planned next week and you were the only one who I thought I might end up in bed with.” Do you think I should reinstate the date, wax my girlie bits and floss my teeth, or is some other action more suitable?

GF, Rothley, Leics

Are you flattered you look the most likely slut? How do you know he hasn’t said to one of the others, “You’re the only one I’m going to take to Paris to propose marriage”? He sounds like a thorough creep, though you would probably be advised to dress less like a tart in future.

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