Dear teenage Giles

You lock yourself in your room with your headphones and play Axel F on the synthesizer. You’ve perfected Jump by Van Halen, too. Mum and Dad are pleased you’re quiet upstairs. You might be messing around, but it’s these early influences that become embedded in your psyche for you to draw on later, without sounding too “la-di-da”.

You have a bit of a quiff on the go and wear lot of fluorescent acrylic jumpers. The tweed jodhpurs probably aren’t you at your best, nor the suede plus fours you made yourself. Still, enjoy it, one day you will be quite boring style-wise: a comedy T-shirt, jeans, fun socks and a good velvet jacket and you’re organised.

To fund your acrylic jumper habit, you’ve got a job shovelling pony nuts into big bags. You are meant to fill 80 bags a day, but you’re lucky if you do three-quarters of one. They won’t ask you back, you’re just too lazy. That aspect of you will change when you find out what you love doing, and when you see results that are more than just a full bag of nuts.

Your mum is obsessed with you having surgery on your bent right ear, the one you sleep on. She doesn’t want you to have cabbage ears. Luckily, mumps will break out at school, so the surgery can’t go ahead. Good thing, too, you’ll grow fond of that ear — it’s great on trains because it cuts out the noise.

You quite like the girl in the garage, she’s good on the pumps. In your mind, you’re fairly confident with girls, but you’ll look back and realise it was all an absolute embarrassment. Your idea of a date is taking a girl out on the tractor.

You can be quite cheeky with a few of the teachers. Your history teacher made you stand in a bin for ages to teach you to be quiet. It’s okay, though, it’s not like you’re hideously bad, just a bit overexcitable, which you always will be. It’s more fun that way.

Dear adult Giles

You’ve worked hard, have your own fashion brand and company and you’re still alive — bananas!

Giles has designed a limited-edition scarf for the launch of Cadbury Nibbles, £15 from John Lewis, or free for a limited time at nibblescollection.com

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