Start saying 'yes' to every invite you get. Even if you don't fancy going, doll up and wear something nice as there might be a nice guy there who didn't fancy going either!
Don't worry too much about your biological clock - you could adopt children, or have eggs frozen and get a surrogate mother.

Amy Davies, Richmond, England

The risk of infertility rises quite substantially with each passing year once a woman is in her thirties. With a doctor's help, become better informed about this. Then consider having a child on your own. There are several good support organizations to help you explore whether this is right for you.

Georgina, Chicago, USA

I agree with what the writer has said as i share the same view as her so i can feel and understand her pain, however i think at 34 shes still young and has the world at her feet. Also if its not to bold for me to say, there are alternative options, such as adopting or fostering and so on.

Kelly, Cambridge,

Take control of your life! Sally is correct - you can't rely on someone else to make you HAPPY - we are all repsonsible for our own happiness. BTW I proposed to my husband 17 years ago, so if you meet someone who makes the sun rise for you, GO FOR IT!

Alison, Jan Juc, Australia

I agree with Rob.. Men and Women are mean't to be together., that's what nature intended. So however, fulfilling you life is, many people still want a partner.
34 is not too old, but it is old enough to know what you want.
Sylvia - Being creative you can always contact me!

Paul, Bristol, UK

Patronising. I'm 34 too,intelligent,attractive enough to turn heads,with a career, interests and friends- I know many women like me.And we'd all love a relationship -it's natural! Online dating isn't easy - you need a thick skin, I had v few responses.Lots of men don't want a relationship, I fear.

sylvia , london,

I really hope the writer finds a family. It is too easy to say "just get a different life"
Take it from me, nearing 40 & still single gives you a lonely social status.
My invites to most things have dried up because I am not a couple.
There are only so many fun,spinster activites on offer

Jacinda , Brisbanea, Australia

She may have made the same mistake I watched several friends make; staying with the wrong men for too long. I don't care how terrific he is or how much you love him. If he doesn't want to marry you after 2 years of exclusive dating or cohabiting then he probably never will.

Candace, Virginia, USA

However well u try to hide it, many men will automatically assume that you are desperate when they get to know that you're 34, single and child-less. Your interest in them will be viewed with some scepticism. They want to feel sure that you really really like them for who they are first and foremost

Richie, Abu Dhabi, UAE

Excellent advice Sally. As a man of 36, I faced the same dilemma and was forced to change my thinking and the craving for the 'other person'. I was always chasing the elusive "I will be happy when..." until discovering a different approach through Buddhist teachings. I have found true contentment.

Russ, Brisbane, Australia

Certainly, it's a good idea to develop other interests apart from our partner and kids. Men do, and that can leave us feeling unappreciated. It's worth remembering what Byron said about love:
'Man's love is of man's life a thing apart,
'Tis woman's whole existence. '
- forewarned is forearmed.

Dorothy, Grasmere, U.K.

for gods sake she s only 34. she's being force fed a host of quotas that todays society tell us is the expected norm and feeling inadeqaute because of these constant comparisons we are compelled to make

patrick, Singapore, Singapore

Sally's response was patronising. I'm sure this woman knows perfectly well that she needs to be happy in herself but, for some, having a family and children is an important need. It's almost like saying to someone who is starving that they need to forget about food and just 'be happy'.

M A, Derby, UK

Much as I admire Aunt Sally's advice, I would add to it that at 34 you should get online and be upfront about what you want out of the next 25 years and a relationship - i.e. marriage and children. There are men out there who want the same thing, and you may as well rule out the ones who don't!

Jessica, Reading, UK

Instead of wasting time worrying why don't you do something you enjoy? Surely you have some interest that can be social. Spend your time enjoying your interests and you are destined to meet people that you and they will be people you like. Think about it, you already have something to talk about!

Darren, Cheltenham,

There is nothing wrong with online dating. I am happily married to the man I met this way. If you wanted to buy a new car you wouldn't just wait for one to drive up and park on your drive would you? If you want to meet someone you have to be proactive. Be open to any opportunity to meet new friends.

Frankie, Shetland,

No matter how fulfilling ones independent life is, there will always be a hollow gap inside us when there is no life partner to love and depend on. This 'create your own life first' crap is just wishful thinking. We are programmed to love and pro-create and will be forever missing something without

Rob, London,

In a similar state, I was 33 when I ran into an unlikely figure who I now happily have 2 kids with. A number of my friends did the same. You shouldn't despair, but you do sound a bit depressed and desperation shows. Get on and build your life, do things you enjoy and you never know what will happen

Sarah, Swansea, Wales

Fill your life and enjoy your freedom. Don't look for a relationship as a wife or mother to define you. Women who function living vicariously through children are so over-bearing and, as is correctly said above, end up with nothing for themselves. Change jobs, go travelling, be yourself.....

Julie, Punnetts Town,

Load the dice.
Organize to be where you meet
and talk with eligible men. Shopping at right time,singles bars, parties, sports events.
Make the first move. Women are much better at this.

I was single for 14 years, met love of my life.
Still happy after another 14.

Leigh Vernier, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

She feels there is no hope at 34! I've been on my own 12 years now going into my 50s; the only men I have met have wanted to use or abuse women ie conned, stolen, lied & cheated; are there really nice men out there capable of loving? Good Luck Luck - but better be resigned to living on your own!

Benni, Sheffield,

This woman only sees herself in the husband-&-kids context because that's all she's surrounded by. My advice? Take a sabbatical from work, get a backpack and see the world. Only then will she realise there truly IS more to life, and gain self-confidence & interesting stories to share on her return.

Spinny, Taipei, Taiwan

The reader doesn't seem to me to be focused only on "finding a man" or having children. She's facing the prospect of spinsterhood (yes, spinsterhood), which is every bit as much demeaning and marginalized a position as it ever was in Victorian times. She's right to be worried.

Kathy, New York, United States

Excellent advice.

Tina , Dusseldorf, Germany