Does Christina Aguilera have hair? That’s the big question. What is this stuff that she glues, or braids, or screws into her head? Is it old rags? Old rope? Whatever, it looks like it spent a couple of months on a garage forecourt before she got her hands on it.

And what’s with the black-and-white hair thing? Some kind of skunk fetish? No, it’s more than just a fetish. It’s an obsession. As we know, hair and sex are inextricably linked, and Christina has come out, saying: “I find it hornier looking at women than at men.” Not only does she appear to be sexually confused, she seems unsure about whether she’s black or white. It’s not clear whether she actually wants to be black, or has just been hanging out near the bins of a “hair of black origin” salon and put together her look from the offcuts of someone else’s weave.

Hair Bitch’s friend Mark Smith, at John Frieda, is astounded. “Why would she have extensions that look so obviously not real, and so cheap? You can get very good extensions these days that look like real hair. And the black is too harsh. A chestnut brown would be good. She doesn’t look like she’s a girl who’s afraid to experiment. Perhaps she could experiment with looking normal.“





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