Oops, we’ve been had — or that was the idea, anyway. First OK! magazine featured the surprise wedding of the television presenter Dale Winton to the glamour model Nell McAndrew (cue all-round amazement, what with Dale being the confirmed companion of Cilla Black). And now, tonight, BBC3 is showing a documentary of the big day, complete with footage of best woman Cilla Black’s candid speech (“When Dale told me that he was getting married, my natural reaction was, ‘Who’s the lucky fella?’”).

Only it turns out that — yes — it has all been one big spoof! Ha! Hilarious! But for one small point: which is that anyone who registered the episode (with the possible exception of Bernard Manning) won’t have been in the least bit amazed. We may not be the French when it comes to our tolerance of sexual shenanigans, but we’re streets ahead when it comes to appreciating the advantages of marriages that are convenient. Instead of gasps, this ruse will only have succeeded in extracting wistful sighs from women whose men are, right now, staked out in front of televised sport, smelling of Carling.

It isn’t Dale specifically, you understand — it’s the fantasy driving Will & Grace, and most movies starring Rupert Everett. The image of the charming, well-groomed guy who is funny and naughty, yet loves kids, has a filthy sense of humour, yet cares about the state of the cream sofa. So what if he prefers his sex with the guy from the car wash? With the divorce rate standing at 40%, these are challenging times that require creative solutions.

It’s no coincidence that before the petite Indian millionaire came along, Liz Hurley was mostly to be found on the arm of Sir Elton or David Furnish (who else would understand the preparation time required for a Versace entrance?). And why all the fuss about Liza Minnelli and David Gest? For a married man he sure wears a lot of hairspray, but why should Minnelli be picky about that? When you’ve had a couple of hip replacements and been married to every variety in the book, bickering over who gets to use the Elnett first is irrelevant. If it works, it works.

Heck, it’s hardly new news. Our very own Oscar Wilde had a lovely wife and kids. The only difference is that, whereas in the past marriage has often been a cover for the love that dare not speak its name, now both parties are going in with eyes wide open. Honk if you don’t know at least two women who are married to gay men. It’s the happening thing. Perfect if you’d rather go to bed with an eye mask and a cup of cocoa than someone looking for a leg-over. When OK! reported that McAndrew burst into tears during the reading of the vows, I think we know what she was thinking.

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