“What I would love to do is make clothes as simple as possible, so it’s just a rectangle or a T-shirt. My favourite thing at the moment is the cape. I just love this bit of cloth tied around your neck, I think it’s great. Do it yourself, readers.”

ON MODERN MUSIC

“Oh, I can’t be interested in that. I just hate noise pollution. I travel by bicycle and cabs essentially, and a little bit on the Underground, but I can’t stand music in a cab. I think it’s dreadful. And when I go to eat somewhere and they’ve got music playing, you can’t talk. I was in New York recently, and I was taken out to this trendy restaurant. Ivana Trump was there, it was very glamorous, but we left because they were playing music. We were running down the street and they were shouting, ‘Come back, come back.’ Dreadful — so noisy.”

ON DIETING

“I wanted to lose a few kilos recently, as I’m heavier than I was 20 or 30 years ago. It’s really convenient to be thinner, so I’m going to weigh myself and get thinner. I didn’t eat for a day and a half and the scales moved a little. I have no willpower, so if I start eating in the morning, I just nibble all day. Now, sometimes I eat a Ryvita, sometimes I don’t eat at all. Today, I bought a packet of alfalfa sprouts, which I will eat with olive oil if I get hungry. I thought I would only eat at night and not during the day.”

ON ONION SOUP

“What you do is slice up the onions, then boil them on the lowest heat possible and leave till you come home. Then add some stock and have it with a bit of cheese — it’s fab. I cook something different every night.”

ON GOD

“I think religion is an absolute scourge on the world. That is why I think Tony Blair is such an idiot, all, ‘Let me be a crusader and save the world.’ That’s what he must have in his head to justify his actions. I don’t know how he can live with himself. On the other hand, it’s really dreadful this blowing yourself up for religion. Any religious book is mythical — Moses never lived, he is as fictional as Robin Hood. It’s all mythology and not real life.”

ON CONSUMERISM

“I’m not saying don’t consume — just have less of it. I’m not saying don’t go down the disco, just consume less. Start to do other things. You need to go deep to discover how the world can be a better place. On Jonathan Dimbleby on the radio, a girl posted the question: ‘What is culture and how do you get it?’ Nobody could answer, as nobody knows what culture is.”

ON FREEDOM FIGHTING

“You can’t have culture without freedom and justice. That is why, when one person is wrongly jailed, you need to fight against that injustice. People should live to their potential and understand the world as much as they are able to. Everybody should achieve their ultimate goals, but when somebody has their life taken away from them, that’s not possible. This is all part of fighting for a correct civilisation. I am campaigning against people being put in jail till they are tried fairly. I really object. As far as we know, these people have been arrested without having a fair trial and just being told they are a terrorist threat. This has now changed into total house arrest. These people are in a dreadful state.”

ON TONY BLAIR

“He just goes on causing damage. If he had never been born, thousands of people would still be alive. I think he is a monster. Margaret Thatcher would never have got away with all that. I was a teacher once, you know. I’m 12 years older than him, and I can just imagine what a puffed-up total creep he must have been at school.”

ON SUPERMODELS

“One time, Jerry Hall was waiting backstage and she sprayed perfume on herself before she went on the catwalk. Can you imagine? Then one time she said, ‘Can I go in my dress in bare feet?’ She just wanted to be able to throw it around. My husband, Andreas, adores Naomi; he calls her ‘the walk of the century’. He just thinks she’s a goddess, a proper beauty — she is. We really, really like Linda Evangelista, she’s so brilliant with clothes.

She really cared and always wanted to know exactly what you wanted. Once, we had this very extreme make-up look, and she saw somebody fiddling with it and she told her off: ‘Don’t you do that — you go back to the make-up people.’ One time, Linda waited for half an hour to thank me, and I didn’t realise she was waiting.”

ON WHO SHOULD REALLY BE IN CHARGE

“I think it very much depends on people and leaders. I think I would put Richard Branson as prime minister. He would be really great, obviously if he wasn’t running his business at the same time. Bono also, as he would be great for development, taking on the role currently held by Hilary Benn. I’d put Robert Fisk in the Foreign Office, Shami Chakrabarti in home affairs, Neil McGregor in culture and Noreena Hertz as Chancellor. These people would immediately get rid of house arrest and reinstate habeas corpus, as they have some imagination.”

ON TELEVISION

“From time to time, I watch the news, although I never go to the cinema — it’s such a passive experience, unlike at the theatre where you actually do the thinking. I saw the Twin Towers fall and Michael Jackson’s Martin Bashir interview. I don’t think I have seen much else, apart from a musical I saw a bit of last Christmas that Andreas was watching.”

ON BEING A DAME

“Sometimes it gives clout if you’re talking about anti-terrorism and they say Dame Vivienne, but I must say I do really prefer it when people call me Vivienne or Miss Westwood.”

Interview by Ben Reardon

A full version of this article appears in the February edition of i-D, on sale on Thursday

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