My girlfriend and I have been invited to a glamorous weekend house party. However, it looks as if we will have to turn it down because we can’t take my girlfriend’s shih tzu, as the hosts have various cats and large dogs that they will insist are incompatible with our little chap. Everyone says to put him in kennels, but he was traumatised almost to death when we did that in the summer. As we have only recently moved house, we don’t feel we know the neighbours well enough to ask them to take him in. Is there anything you’d suggest?

MK, Leamington Spa

Shih tzus aren’t really expensive, and they all look pretty much the same. So have him put down and buy a new one when you get back.

More of a sax life

I am 16 and recently got my first boyfriend. Our relationship lasted only a week before I got bored, dumped him and apparently broke his heart. He just called me to ask if we could get back together because he feels so sad without me (one of the main reasons for dumping him was because he was so soppy). I said I would think about it, so he wouldn’t break down in a blubbering mess on the phone or start stalking me, but now I think he could be extremely handy as he plays the saxophone and I have wanted to learn for ages. Should I use him for free lessons — tuition can be very pricey — or be kind and sensible and call off the whole thing so we can both get on with our teenage lives?

RJ, by e-mail

While initially an attractive idea, I don’t think you have thought this through properly. It takes years to master a musical instrument, so for how long would you string him along? Until you’ve taken grade five? Joined a swing band? Signed your first record deal? Perhaps you ought also to bear in mind that some people would consider your behaviour rather callous and not a million miles from prostitution, but we all know enough marriages built on similar, mutually convenient arrangements.

Gagging for it

I have a wonderful wife, but some time ago, I was stupid enough to have an affair. Within days, I realised my mistake. I therefore did the sensible thing and moved back in with my wife. This all happened about seven years ago, but she brings up the subject every day, and always refers to my lapse whenever I try to initiate any form of sexual activity. How can I expunge this episode from her memory so we can return to the days of rampant sex that we enjoyed when we were first married?

MWP, Surrey

Your wife appears in many ways to be a saint, but, unfortunately for you, one of those ways seems to be a vow of chastity. Try total abasement, as similar ascetic trials on your part might soften her attitude. I’m not suggesting you should live naked in a desert cave for three months, but certainly try cleaning the kitchen floor with a toothbrush, vacuuming the underside of the carpets, taking the entire contents of her wardrobe to the dry cleaners (and collecting it) and leaving your credit card behind the counter of her favourite shoe shop. Oh, and buy her flowers. Daily.

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