Not so long ago, when life threatened to overwhelm the typically tired and emotional party girl, she would make discreet inquiries about A-list psychotherapists, then book herself a few sessions on a glamorous couch in conditions of darkest secrecy. Now, however, there is a move away from all that. A growing number of high-profile subjects are outing themselves as devotees of neurolinguistic programming (NLP), an increasingly popular self-help fix.
NLP is a way of reprogramming the brain in order to change negative behaviour. It works by identifying subconscious pessimistic patterns, then zaps them by replacing them with new thoughts and images. A typical example would be the habitual smoker who is prone to lighting up when sipping a morning espresso or a glass of wine at the end of the day. An NLP therapist would program their brain to desire something other than a cigarette at those trigger moments.
Although too new to have any scientific endorsements, NLP has obvious appeal. There is no time-consuming discussion of past “issues” — the focus is entirely on results. Progress can be rapid: according to its devotees, one to three sessions of NLP can be be sufficient to create lasting change.
NLP was invented in the 1970s in America by a mathematician and a linguistics professor. Britain’s most energetic proponent is the hypnotist Paul McKenna, who has reinvented himself from impresario of ritual humiliation to NLP genie, with books such as Change Your Life in Seven Days. “NLP is just high-tech hypnosis,” he says. “Your brain is like a computer, and it’s as if you are installing new software to overwrite programs that no longer work. The key programs of human behaviour are habit and imagination, and they are far more powerful than logic or willpower. I’ve seen people make astounding changes in their thoughts and behaviour quickly.”
While NLP is not recommended for treating mental illness or deep-rooted emotional traumas, there are many areas where it does get fast results. Here are five of the most popular.
Finding love
Why does NLP work? Attracting a mate relies on sending out the right signals to potential partners. If a person has subconscious anxieties or insecurities about love and relationships, they might be communicating this unwittingly through defensive body language, speech patterns and other inhibiting habits, such as nervous giggling and drinking too much.
Where to go Peta Heskell, author of Flirt Coach, runs regular workshops and one-to-one coaching using NLP to help people attract the opposite sex.
Top tip Heskell believes that we don’t just store memories in our head, but in our bodies as well. She gets clients to revisit a time in their life when they felt at their most attractive and confident. What was their posture or their tone of voice at that time? By recreating those physical qualities, Heskell believes we can return to our most attractive state. She also advocates “mirroring” the speech and body language used by the person you are trying to woo.
More details www.attractionacademy.com
Fear of public speaking
Why does NLP work? People often list speaking in public as their biggest fear, second only to death. NLP explores how fearful thoughts can trigger a corresponding negative physical reaction, such as stammering or shaking.
Who to go to Paul McKenna has coached many models, sports stars and actors, including Daryl Hannah, to give more confident public presentations.
Top tip By giving the terrified a physical trigger, NLP can trick the brain into throwing a switch from negative to positive, which will, in turn, cause the person to feel more confident and relaxed. McKenna’s favourite trick is to get you to reconnect with a time when you were feeling successful and full of confidence. As you fully recall that feeling, place your thumb and middle finger together to form a circle and squeeze together. Do this several times every day. Next time you need the confidence to address a roomful of people, make this circle again and confident feelings will fill your mind.
More details www.paulmckenna.com
Stopping smoking
Why does NLP work? Although it takes up to two weeks for the symptoms of nicotine addiction to subside, it is widely acknowledged that smokers are also psychologically addicted to their habit, which is why they continue to crave cigarettes long after the two weeks are up. NLP encourages would-be nonsmokers to change the mental pictures that arise when they think about giving up.
Where to go Pete Cohen, author of Habit Busting, has successfully treated many smokers.
Top tip One technique Cohen uses is the “swish pattern”, in which a person visualises themselves smoking. In the bottom corner of the picture, they are told to imagine a black and white passport photo of themselves having stopped, looking strong and powerful. They are then told to “swish” the image, rather like a windscreen wiper, so the smoking picture is slowly wiped away and replaced by the healthy picture. This process is repeated five or six times, usually accompanied by the trigger word “swish”.
More details www.sortyourlifeout.com
Weight loss
Why does NLP work? Typically, our compulsion to overeat or indulge in unhealthy foods is governed by the subconscious. For example, if you view food as a reward, you might feel you have earned a bar of chocolate after meeting a stressful work deadline. An NLP practitioner will quickly identify such mental blind spots and work to eradicate them. Once people identify why they eat the way they do, it is much easier to change.
Who to go to Paul McKenna, the author of I Can Make You Thin, has dozens of slimmed-down clients, including Sophie Dahl.
Top tip McKenna gets clients to picture a succession of images of themselves growing thinner and thinner. They can then mentally step inside these slimmer mental pictures and repeat the process until they begin to imagine themselves as a thin person. Other tricks include visualising a bar of chocolate with all the colour drained away, and setting up aversive reactions to fattening foods by associating them with unpleasant memories.
More details www.paulmckenna.com
Fear of flying
Why does NLP work? The brain is at its most powerful when it works with vivid pictures, and thanks to disaster movies and television news footage, there is no shortage of imagery surrounding the negatives of flying. NLP can help such phobics by providing the brain with an alternative “movie”.
Who to go to Pete Cohen has run a number of Fear Busting workshops, specifically to help those who have a fear of flying.
Top tip Cohen uses “disassociation”, in which the phobic imagines that they board a flight, sit down and take off, as if they were watching themselves in a movie. Then, they visualise the same sequence, only this time, they are in a cinema looking down on themselves looking up at the screen. Finally, he gets clients to run the “film” backwards. He also suggests putting funny characters (John Cleese, Mickey Mouse) in the film, so it will eventually feel like a different memory.
More details www.sortyourlifeout.com
NLP can help with a range of problems, from confidence-building and stress-management to relationships and health and wellbeing. To find your nearest practitioner, visit www.anlp.org
