We all know the type. He hits middle age and suddenly he’s Jack-the-lad again. He’s done marriage and divorce. The kids have grown up and gone. He’s got time and money to burn — and he wants to have serious fun. Not for him a slow descent into old codgerdom. Oh, no — he wants to be a Manchild.

And can you blame him? Nobody likes to feel washed up, at least not at 45. Manchild is simply trying to salvage the flotsam of his youth. It’s his last chance for casual clothes and casual sex, his last chance to ride a Harley and score with a racy lady. Who cares if his hairline is receding faster than his glory days? Inside every middle-aged man is a Peter Stringfellow trying to get out. He’s got a wolfish grin and a twinkle in his eye. And he’s whispering: “Go on, my son — drive fast cars, shag fast birds, wear leopardskin thongs. You know it makes sense. You’re only as young as the woman you feel.”

But acting like a delinquent teen as you cruise towards your pension isn’t big or clever. It’s embarrassing ... and delusional. Manchild might see his attempts to relive his youth as proof of his irrepressible spirit, but they’re actually a mark of masculinity in crisis.

He seeks refuge in cars, bikes, girls and unsuitable clothes.

Unsuitable because, frankly, your average middle-aged bloke is more of a Jeremy Clarkson than a Mick Jagger.

As one female friend puts it: “Nothing’s more of a turn-off than an old man who’s trying to squeeze himself into leather. Unless they’re in really good shape, they just end up looking like a black pudding.”

But what about the fast car and motorbike thing? Isn’t that sexy? Erm, no. “A Ferrari isn’t quite so cool when you know their next big life stage is a bus pass. They don’t look younger or more virile. They just look sad.”

Of course, women aren’t entirely blameless in all this. For every one who thinks Manchild should grow up and act his age, there are others who willingly collude in his fantasies of eternal youth.

Would Stringfellow still be posing in his pouch if one of his young laydeez had said: “For God’s sake, put it away, Pete. You’re 62”? Would he heck.

As usual, it’s all their fault. Women, eh?

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