Two friends come to dinner. One brings two bottles of average wine, the other one bottle of excellent claret. As hosts, we have provided our own (above-average; not excellent) wine for the evening. Which should we drink, and in what order? We served our wine first, then the excellent wine, assuming the giver wanted to try it; and perhaps left the other guest feeling low.

As a guest, you should never complain about the quality of wine provided by your hosts, and as a host, you should never complain about the quality of the wine brought by your guests. The point of dinner parties is to complain about people who aren’t there to hear you bitching.

Is the gathering a wine-tasting? No? Then the wine isn’t the point of the evening. Spending time with friends is. You should no more wince if one guest gives you Château Croydon when another has brought Cheval Blanc than you should curl your lip at someone who gives you just a birthday card when another wellwisher has bought you diamonds.

The friend who brought the claret could always buy himself a bottle if he is so anxious to try it. Had he wished to be certain that you’d pour him a glass he could have uncorked the bottle at home and handed it to you opened, on the ground that it needed to breathe. Equally, to have resolved your feeling of awkwardness by closeting away the fine claret for drinking in private at a later date might have seemed ungenerous to the friend who bought it. To open the fine claret, but not the more average contribution, might look like you’re damning the latter.

So what do you do? You open all bottles in a way that leaves none of the givers feeling uncomfortable. There’s always something you can say about a wine, however average it is, even if only: “It’s red!”

What’s your view and do you have a dilemma of your own?

E-mail: modernmorals@thetimes.co.uk

Write to Modern Morals, times2, 1 Pennington Street, London E98 1TT

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