A hotel room, a major European city, some time in early 2009. Nicolas Sarkozy and his newish wife Carla are discussing their plans for the day . . .

Nicolas (tying his tie): But ma cherie! All day ah am to be at the summit! For you, eet eez very boring, non?

Carla: Not at all, mon Nicolas. For I shall be shopping and seeing the sights, avec one of the other partners.

Nicolas: Ah. But je ne comprends pas, etc. “Partners”? Ah was under the impression that marriage was de rigueur for the consort of a national leader. Otherwise ah would not ’ave tied the knot, eh? So why do you not say “wives”?

Carla (applying lipstick, pouting): Because ee ees not a “wife”, mon Nicolas. Ee ees un ’usband. The ’usband of President Clinton.

Nicolas (freezing): Oh.

Carla: We are spending the day together. Eet is only right and proper, non?

Nicolas: Well. Hold on . . .

Carla: ’Ow I envy you and ’illary! With all the world to discuss! Me and Beel, we shall ’ave a boring day.

Lunch. And then ah think ah will take him with me, to choose a new dress. Ah ahm sure he has a most discerning eye.

Nicolas: Non! Ah forbid it! You must stay here in the hotel!

Carla (innocently): Oh? And he should join me?

Nicolas: Non! Non!

Carla: Ah should invite him for a leetle room service, perhaps?

Nicolas: Jamais! Absolument pas!

Carla: So per’apps we go to cinema. Share an ice-cream. But Nicolas! Tu es fuming! Do you think ah will return all smelling of cigars?

Nicolas (glowering): Ah am not trusting this Beel. Ah am not fooled by his boyfaced wife. Ee ees un notorious lothario and will steal you away!

Carla: Relax, mon Nicolas!

Ah am no fan of Beel!

Tedious leetle man! Ah am only being polite. In fact, I can only think of one person with whom ah would less like to spend the day.

At least it is not, cherie.

Nicolas: At least it is not who, cherie?

Carla: At least it is not Cherie.

Nicolas: Oh.

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