Your not doing it right, stop musing and start investigating the best foreplay for you. Take some responsability, and your sex life will blossom.

kathy, Westover, MD USA

Yuck. No wonder she can't have orgasms. She's busy rating her lovers in many different ways.

tkehler, Vancouver, Canada

Women shouldn't complain. They CAN perform without being aroused. How many men can do this? There was a story about a woman who had sex with six or seven men, one after the other. Whatever you might think of this, how many men could have actual sexual intercourse with six or seven women one after another?

So maybe the men were all duds and didn't treat her well, and maybe she was faking more than her orgasms. She doesn't seem to have known why she had sex with any of these men, let alone whether there was any sort of real relationship between them. Now she turns around and tells us she doesn't know why sex wasn't satisfying to her, and she wants us to buy her book. But she doesn't seem to have done anything worth reading about.

Christopher Hobe Morrison, Pine Bush, Ulster County, NY, USA

Although I read this article as I was bored it has still manage to make me feel indignant at wasting several minutes of my life.

A depressing glance into the vapid mundanity of middle England.

Richard, London, England

Hmmm.

Presumably that was the teaser to get us all to buy the book?

Annie, Bath, UK

She's 44 years old and has had 23 men!

She then goes on to write a book about it!??

Ive had nearly 200+ women..where do I find a gullible publishing agency??

Joe, Alicante,

As a 42 year old women who has countless lovers I loved this article. It was very honest. Women are rarely honest about their sex life. A refreshing change!

Sarah G, London,

an interesting article, however, does the book go into the question:

am i to blame?

Not everything is mans fault

English Gent, England,

This is the perspective of a victim and is obnoxious, but understandable in a society that breeds victims. There are so many ways and people to have orgasms with, books and communities to explore. No reason to be a victim.

dslurpy, University City, USA / Missouri

I read newspapers to be educated, informed and entertained. You havew done none of these things.

I demand my money back.

Now then, have a think about how those 23 blokes feel.

William, London,

There's your problem. You didn't give me a call. I'd have done it for you.

Any average Welshman, Swansea, UK

you expect the man to do all the work and produce the results ?? says it all

jp, york, uk

strewth - that's less than one a year ! what did she do the rest of the time ? she is obviously not from manchester !

munro, perpignan, france

Begin with a list of unremarkable experiences. Dress them up as anecdotes. Introduce conjecture on why you feel it is necessary to list anecdotes. The result? You could bore for Britain.

I still am not sure if this was meant to be interesting, or entertaining. Only the gauche reference to Cambridge raised a smile, which I presume was not intentional.

Tom, Auckland, New Zealand

Women are so peculiar. I don't know a man in the world who would write of his female partners in such terms. What appalling double standards now operate.

Al, Soton, UK

Entirely honest rendition from my generation. Oh women will say "take responsibility" but that is a very 1990s onward belief system taken from reading Glamour and Cosmo.

Just like those women watch Sex in the City and think that's real, this article is real life. When you do get your good one (and yes girls, I found the best partner) sometimes it's later in life.

barbara, Sacramento, CA/USA

Great article. Honest and revealing... inspires me to re-examine all my own sexual escapades to see how many were truly worthwhile!

Alex Mcgregor, Plymouth, UK

Mother Nature's very shrewd, isn't she? She's got this poor woman trying and trying and trying again to have an orgasm. I wonder why?

Edmund Burke, Kingston upon Thames, England

Sexual satisfaction is a two-way street. Women cannot simply expect men to "give" them orgasms, they must participate in achieving their own pleasure. You have to ask for what pleases you (and if you don't know, find out), you have to learn to move your own body effectively, often you must work with the partner for several weeks or months before the two of you come to understand each other's needs and find a rhythm. It is utterly naive for a woman to expect a man simply to push a button and make something happen. Good sex doesn't work that way.

Lili, Chicago, USA

Yawn.

Chris, Wokingham, England

What a sad woman ! She's one of a generation (or more) who thinks sex is the cart before the love (if ever she is capable of the latter)

Sex is an expression of care for someone else. Not a candy bar.

No wonder it don't give her no satisfaction.

john, arundel,

Worst sex of your life and what did you do - smiled at him! No wonder you didn't have fun. As JC from Berlin states, you have to tell your partner what you like. You can't expect him to read you mind.

HC, London, England

Who has an orgasm on the first night together? Nobody I know, certainly not me - with any of my lovers! It took my husband and I a couple of years to get it absolutely right.

Methinks the lady had no self respect and slept with just about anyone who asked her to. nothing to feel ashamed about, we've all been there x

Emma, Hastings, UK

No personaly responsibility? She blames all of her problems on the (several) men she slept with. How pitiful.

Jason Blosser, Fort Wayne, Indiana, USA

Porn is often the teaching tool for young men - but totally the wrong tool to really show what women prefer.
So many women complain of the same thing...
Porn not only increase crime against women and children, but its also making people sexually dysfunctional. Why its so widely allowed, one can only wonder.

Kara, Barcelona,

teach and be taught. Communication is key. One can have an orgasm to end all orgasms with someone one barely knows, and likewise have terrible sex in a long-term relationship. Find out what makes you tick and go for it.

JC, Berlin,

Seems like time to get a life and a few hobbies. Your interests sound very narrow.

Alys, Colchester, UK

At the rate of less than two per year of her "active sex life" she obviously spends most of her time sitting on her hands, or something!

Peter Caddy, Lucens, Switzerland

So why have you never shown any of them what to do to give you an orgasm?

Denise B, Oldbury, England

Very funny. If a job is really worth doing well you will have to do it yourself.

fuguez, mayfair/london,

Why do women expect a man to 'give' them an orgasm?
It should be something you both work o together and not blame or accuse if nothing happens...
Maybe women should become more sexual and find what turns them on and embrace what porn and masturbation has done for men and have some for ourselves!

Eloise, San Francisco, Ca

Another depressing article. Call me a dinosaur, but this does makes the case for taking a lot of time to get to know someone really well before you have sex with them. You would then avoid some nasty encounters; avoid probable disease and also have a little more respect for yourself.

Jodie, Geneva,

How utterly mundane. You've had your 15 minutes of fame. Pack your bags. There's the door. Don't call me I'll call you.

a don, Sydney, Australia