The President of France and his new première dame are arriving for their first state visit on March 26. In preparation for greeting them, your majesty would be advised to forget everything about the last two such visits, by Monsieur Chirac in 1996 and 2004. Nicolas Sarkozy wields the same near-absolute power as his predecessors but he and Carla Bruni-Sarkozy are unlike previous incumbents of the republican monarchy.

Under the President, who is also known as Super Sarko or Speedy, decorum and discretion has given way at the Elysée Palace to a style that might be described as “in one's face”. One example of the new, unceremonial manner could be seen in Monsieur Sarkozy's decision in late February to curtail his stay as your guest by one day.

M Sarkozy, a man who is sensitive about his modest physical stature, has sought to “shake up” his country and dazzle his citizens with a constant display of activity and personal success. This has caused less charitable sections of the press to name him Président Bling Bling and le Président Pipole, or what our tabloid press might call the Celeb Prez.

Among the most spectacular of M Sarkozy's achievements in ten months in office has been his marriage to Madame Bruni Tedeschi, a “supermodel” from a wealthy Turin family who has lately made a name on the Continent as a chanteuse in the “pop-folk” style.

Unlike M Sarkozy, who speaks only a few words of English and is not familiar with our customs, Madame Sarkozy is fluent in both. The 40-year-old First Lady has an intimate understanding of our ways from past close friendships with some of your more famous subjects. These include Sir Mick Jagger of the “Rolling Stones” group and Mr Eric Clapton, a guitarist-singer. We understand from Mr Clapton's recent memoirs that his friendship with Sir Mick, who was married at the time to Miss Jerry Hall, suffered from their competition for the favours of the young Signorina Bruni.

The Sarkozys' wedding, conducted in secret in February, was remarkable in several ways. It was celebrated only two months after the couple met at the home of an advertising executive, and only three months after Cécilia Sarkozy, the second wife, ended her marriage with the President against his wishes. At the time, he was described by friends as “devastated” and he mourned his departed wife by wearing his wedding ring for a month.

Mme Bruni-Sarkozy, who moves with the well-off Bohemian set of the Left Bank, is a supporter of left-wing causes. She had disapproved publicly of “Sarko's” populist politics and had even told British newspapers that she did not much care for the French as a whole. It is true that she had long “wanted a man with his finger on the nuclear button”, as she put it. However, she also cherished her freedom to replace her consorts at will. Only last year, she regretted to a journalist that no man excited her senses for more than three weeks: “I am a tamer of men, a cat, an Italian. Monogamy bores me terribly,” she told Le Figaro newspaper. “I prefer polygamy and polyandry.” The last term refers to a lady who enjoys conjugal companionship with more than one man at a time.

It was with relief that France heard from Mme Bruni-Sarkozy last month (February) that she intends to remain with her new husband “jusqu'à la mort” - until death. M Sarkozy has also reassured his citizens that “With Carla, it's serious.” While Mr Sarkozy may have decided to shorten his stay at Windsor, his new wife has expressed her eager anticipation over the visit. She was asked how she felt about being your majesty's guest. She replied with one word: grisant - thrilling.

Here is a little background on each.

PRESIDENT SARKOZY

M Sarkozy's whirlwind romance and the manner in which he paraded his new conquest in exotic locales such as the Egyptian pyramids are blamed in part for a big drop in his popularity over the winter. Their exchange of jewellery presents worth tens of thousands of pounds also did not please a country feeling the economic pinch. By “flaunting his trophy wife”, as some called it, M Sarkozy irked voters who feel that he he had failed to produce the economic miracle that he promised. The President is now working to gain the gravitas that 82 per cent of the country believes he lacks, according to an opinion poll last month.

For the past month, the Sarkozys have been discreet. They have been spending their time between the Elysée, Mme Sarkozy's very opulent town house, and La Lanterne. This is a lovely mansion in the grounds of Versailles, the home of the Sun King, where the President spends weekends and entertains his court. He has taken to calling it “my country house”. Members of the inner circle include some of France's most powerful magnates, executives from luxury goods firms such as Prada and popular figures from “le showbiz”. One is Johnny Hallyday, an old idol of rock'n'roll, and Jean-Marie Bigard, a comedian who is famous for lavatory humour. M Sarkozy raised eyebrows when he took M Bigard with him to meet the Pope in the Vatican in December.

Those who know M Sarkozy well say that his Achilles' heel is his dependence on the presence of a loyal wife of high status. He went to pieces when Cécilia, his second wife and mother of their 11-year-old son, left him for another man for most of 2005. He threw himself immediately into a new relationship with a prominent journalist whom he dropped cold when Cécilia consented to return.

Many detected the same pattern after her humiliating final departure last autumn. He appeared distraught, started going out all night to karaoke bars and then took up with Signorina Bruni. He presented her immediately to his public by taking her on an outing to Disneyland Paris, an amusement park favoured by the less educated classes. Just after their marriage, a magazine incurred the President's wrath by reporting that he had sent Cécilia a text message a week before the ceremony saying: “Come back and I will cancel everything.”

The magazine is now being prosecuted for publishing fraudulent information, but the damage was done because the alleged message appeared plausible. It has even become an “internet hit” set to music by a well-known romantic singer.

M Sarkozy's family and France now hope that he will settle down. Jean, his 21-year-old son by his first marriage, told the Times Paris correspondent after the marriage that “We are very happy for my dad. He has been through a difficult time lately.”

The former Mrs Sarkozy is about to marry Richard Attias, the “events manager” for whom she first left her husband in 2005. This may account in part for what Palace staff call M Sarkozy's continuing black mood. They have been alarmed by his bursts of temper, in which he berates them as “cretins, imbeciles” and rougher terms. According to Jean-Francois Probst, who was a senior adviser to President Chirac, “Nicolas Sarkozy does not listen to anyone. He is hot-tempered and nervous and his staff are frightened of him.” “Sarko” has also been spitting blood at journalists, whom he calls “vultures” who want to lynch him.

M Sarkozy's temper caused an incident at the Paris agriculture show (on February 22), when he swore at a member of the public who refused to shake his hand. The President's words, captured on “YouTube”, could be rendered in English as “Sod off, you stupid bugger”.

For the purposes of entertaining M Sarkozy at Windsor Castle, your majesty will have to employ her excellent French. She should know that the President dislikes ceremony and cultivates a manly directness, employing familiar language with his interlocutors. He does not kiss ladies' hands like M Chirac, but do not be surprised if he lapses into a familiar “tu”. His habit of making physical contact has led to misunderstandings with Frau Merkel, the German Chancellor.

You should ignore physical tics, which include the constant shrugging of the shoulders, and you should not notice the elevator heels on his tassled shoes. Mme Sarkozy, who is several inches taller than her husband, has taken to wearing “ballerine” flat-soled shoes. Do not notice the stoop which she also performs in his presence to reduce the difference in height.

Suitable topics for conversation would certainly include M Sarkozy. He is at his happiest when talking of his own successes. You may discuss literature and music with Mrs Sarkozy, who prides herself on her knowledge of letters. Her last recording consisted of her settings of verse by W.H. Auden, Yeats and other English-language poets. M Sarkozy, a “fan” of Elvis Presley, professes no such accomplishments. He reads the biographies of “men of action”. Unlike M Chirac or M Mitterrand, M Sarkozy is not a countryman and does not enjoy field sports. His natural habitat is the nightclubs and restaurants of the Right Bank.

One of M Sarkozy's many un-French traits is that he never touches alcohol. He prefers orange juice. He has a powerful appetite for chocolate and enjoys large Havana cigars. “I am always hungry and always hot,” the President told visitors to his palace on February 25. The President acknowledges that he is engaged in a permanent struggle to lose weight.

Unlike Mr Tony Blair, who never owned a mobile telephone, M Sarkozy is addicted to the instrument. He has an annoying habit of sending and receiving text messages at meetings and ceremonies. He caused offence by doing so in the Vatican.

Do not be surprised if M Sarkozy prefers to start the morning with a jog around Windsor park. He performs this exercise with an “iPod” device, Ray-Ban Aviator glasses, expensive “sports” watches and and clothes with logos such as Nike and New York Police Department.

MADAME BRUNI-SARKOZY

Carla Bruni Tedeschi is the daughter of a wealthy Piedmontese industrialist with a musical bent, and a concert pianist mother (recently it was confirmed that her natural father was a violinist with whom her mother enjoyed a passing liaison). Mme Sarkozy spent her childhood in Paris and the Riviera, where the family moved in the early 1970s to avoid Italian terrorists.

Since she was elevated to the rank of première dame, “Carlita”, as the President calls his latest wife, has been making efforts to correct a public image that the French describe as “sulphurous”. Until her November meeting with M Sarkozy, she was celebrated for her beauty and free-spirited romantic ways. This began with her days as a “luxury rock chick” in the late 1980s. Her dangerous liaisons later included the rich and powerful of two continents, including Mr Donald Trump, the New York tycoon, and M Laurent Fabius, the former French Socialist Prime Minister.

Miss Bruni increased her notoriety when she left Jean-Paul Enthoven, a publisher, for Raphael, his 26-year-old son. They had a son, who is now 6. Mr Enthoven's wife, Justine Levy, the daughter of the philosopher Bernard-Henry Levy, exacted revenge with a fictionalised account. Her novel, called Nothing Serious, depicted Miss Bruni as “a praying mantis with a Terminator smile”. Mme Sarkozy responded later that “I would rather be called a predator than an old flea-bag. Predator is not that bad for a woman.”

Mme Sarkozy immortalised Mr Enthoven Jnr in one of the whispered, erotic chansons that made her a singing star in 2003. In Raphael, she sings that her former companion “has the look of an angel, but he's a devil of love, from his hips to his velvety gaze.”

The new First Lady, who has a much bigger fortune than her husband, has lately taken pains to shed her image as a croqueuse d'hommes - a man eater. While the internet has been full of nude “picture shoots” for which she posed in the past, she has appeared at the President's side dressed demurely; she has renounced a concert tour to promote her forthcoming record and she has decided that all the royalties will go to a good cause.

“I understand that people are worried about what I am, especially with the fanciful and sometimes terrible profiles that appear about me,” she told l'Express magazine in her only interview so far. “I want to reassure the French. I am 40 years old. I am normal, serious, aware and simple, even if I am privileged.”

Monsieur Sarkozy should have no fear that he will end up as a mere lyric to one of her songs, she indicated. She has found true love with a man for whom she fell head-over-heels the instant they met. “I wanted to marry him immediately. It seems that with him, nothing bad can happen,” she said. “I know that one should not get married in haste. But lovers have their own sense of time. Ours is uptempo.”

Divorce was impossible, because “I am of Italian culture,” she added. “So I am First Lady until the end of my husband's term and I am his spouse until death.” Mme Sarkozy said, however: “Je ne regrette rien” about her past. “I am proud of having worked and existed, as I am proud to have married Nicolas. I am also proud and happy to be the première dame de France. I shall do my best.”

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