Remember when having a couple of million quid meant something? Neither do we. Today, several thousand Brits are sitting on at least 50 times that.

They’re not all famous, or even well known, but they have much in common. They can travel where they want, live where they want, do what they want and even screw who they want. Their money allows them to be truly free. But freedom has its price. In their case, it’s the tyranny of too many options. St Barts or St Moritz? Gulfstream or Boeing? Private golf course or polo field? We’re exhausted just thinking about it. We call this tippity-top tier the Filthy Rich. From houses to holidays, fashion to philandering, find out how the other 0.0001% lives . . .

The Wastrel

Made fortune Convincing Grandma he needed £3m cash to start a hip-hop label

Net worth £200m if he makes it to 25

Grandad was A Welsh rabbit farmer; a Greek shipping tycoon

Education One term at Charterhouse; 28 days at Promises Malibu

Nickname Bloater

Confidante The Venezuelan juice heir/junkie he met in drug rehabilitation

Soul mate His personal shopper at Selfridges

Collects Own press clippings; racist jokes

Passions Midmarket celeb mags; freebasing

Pet peeves Stepdads; fat chicks

Fondest memory Crashing Prince Harry’s 21st

Big dream A threesome on P Diddy’s yacht

Bête noire Valley trash

Patron saints Calum Best; Stavros Niarchos

The Grande Dame

Made fortune When she married Charles

Net worth £290m from third husband; £200m from the second; a Vauxhall Astra from the first

Education: Two years at a secretarial college

Nickname Cookie

Confidantes Her five jack russell terriers

Soul mate Her walker, Reinaldo

Collects Blackamoor cameos; South American orchids; working farms

Passions Competitive bridge; the anorexic diet she’s been on since she was eight; saving Venice.

Fondest memory Her two-day affair with Ari Onassis in 1962

Big dream: To be acknowledged for her decades of selfless toil.

Bête noire Her “degenerate” son

Patron saints Susan Sangster; Carole Bamford

The Nerdling

Made fortune Overnight

Net worth £400m on paper

Dad was A physics supply teacher

Nickname Obi-Wan

Confidante Eurethra Antwerp, a dominatrix on Second Life

Soul mate Julie, his VP of Executive Dream Coordination and Actualisation

Collects Life-size Matrix figures; vintage console video games; photos of 18-year-old Asian girls he meets on Facebook

Passions Social networking

Pet peeves Messy code; condescending venture capitalists

Fondest memory Turning down Google

Big dream To speak Mandarin

Bête noire Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin; the rower who gave him a wedgie in his first year at college

The Heairhead

Made fortune Playing role of debauched spoilt brat

Net worth Share of £70m family trust (plus sex-tape royalties)

Dad was A well-known 1970s lothario

Education Expelled from boarding school

Nickname Celebutard; Heir Mattress

Confidante Mr Sparkles, her pygmy house cat

Soul mate Her hair-extension guru, Fabien

Collects Minor STDs; parking tickets

Passions “Feminitism”; exotic marsupials

Pet peeves Ugly girls; “mean people”

Fondest memory Back-to- back spreads in Vanity Fair and Maxim

Big dream To find a European prince and live happily ever after on the pages of Hello!

Patron saints Paris Hilton; Kimberly Stewart

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