David Sedaris 52, is an American author. His latest book, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, is out now. He lives between London, Paris and Normandy with his artist boyfriend, Hugh Hamrick

- My mum and my five siblings would sit around the dinner table for hours and hours every night. Everyone had their story to tell, so you had to work to sustain their attention. I grew up with a harsh audience.

- I had many reasons to be nervous when I was young — living a lie [about being gay] does its damage. But certain things build confidence. I wanted to be someone who did what he said he was going to do. Then you do it and wonder what there was to fear.

- Hugh and I have been together for 18 or something years. What’s our secret? Hugh never listens to a word I say. He has no idea who I am! And, after you’ve been together for a certain time, you can have a bad year, but that doesn’t mean it won’t turn good again. It has a lot to do with expectations.

- I like being a foreigner. Nothing’s my fault. I didn’t vote for these people.

- It was hard to turn 50. Maybe because I don’t have kids — perhaps being able to think “Well, I’m 50, but I have a grandchild” makes it easier. You just become invisible — people stop looking at you. Once you’re deep into invisibility, it probably doesn’t bother you. But that first period is tough.

- I love it when people talk about money. It’s a short cut — it tells me 70% of what I want to know. I once wrote about going to a nudist colony — where everyone is supposed to be equal. But people talked about money even more — by being naked, you couldn’t see what possessions they owned.

- I’m pretty good at cleaning. If I’m looking for a word, I’ll wash the windows and it usually comes to me. It’s a mindless, physical activity. But I’m not one to put my keys in the dishwasher.

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