London: ‘Expect pink fireworks and gloriously cheesy music'
Londoners in the know head to Battersea Park for the most impressive firework
display in the capital, with a great riverside setting — stunning,
multicoloured hoops of light that seem to fill the whole sky are set in time
to music to great effect. There are always some surprises, too, such as
golden “walls of fire” and fountains of white light.
Bonfire Night at Battersea always has a theme and this year “love is in the
air”, so expect lots of reds, pinks and a gloriously cheesy musical score.
There is a food court with burgers, roasted chestnuts, mulled wine and beer,
etc to give you a warming inner glow.
If you can, get there on public transport as the roads surrounding the park
become gridlocked from early evening. Afterwards, cross Albert Bridge to
cosy up in one of the lovely pubs — try the Woodman or the Duke of
Cambridge.
If you don’t want to pay, the display can be seen for miles around the park
and looks wonderful reflected in the water from the far bank of the Thames.
Battersea Park, Saturday, November 7.
Gates open at 6pm, bonfire lit at 7.30pm, fireworks begin at 8pm. Adults
£6, under-tens £1. Tickets at the gate or in advance on 0845 0706870 or at
eventsgroup.co.uk
Chloe Lambert
Lewes: ‘Bonfire boys throw burning tar barrels into the river’
For the hard core, there is only one place in Britain to celebrate Bonfire
Night — that’s Lewes in East Sussex. But don’t go unprepared. One year I
invited a friend from London, and after an hour her children were begging
her to take them away from “this horrid place”.
Horrid is one way of describing it. Mad, pagan, exciting and exhilarating is
another. On November 5 thousands of people squeeze into the small county
town of East Sussex to watch Lewes’s bonfire societies march up and down the
steep old streets. The costumed members (Vikings, smugglers, Zulus,
Elizabethans and so on) carry burning kerosene-soaked torches — even the
little kids and the parents pushing, with their free hand, babies in
decorated buggies.
It is an awesome sight: black sky, rammed streets, and burning crosses and
torches snaking into the distance. There are prayers in honour of Lewes’s 17
Protestant martyrs, burnt at the stake in the 16th century, after which
“bonfire boys” run with burning tar barrels to Cliffe Bridge, where they
toss them, flaming, into the River Ouse. The processions include fabulous,
towering effigies — the Pope of 1605 is always there, along with whoever the
societies choose to lampoon. Later these elaborate “enemies of bonfire” are
blown up on the Downs surrounding Lewes at one of the giant firework
displays and bonfires that see the night out. I have seen royals,
politicians (local and international), sportsmen and celebrities go up in
flames; I have seen NCP parking wardens explode in smithereens and in the
1980s I lost count of how many Thatchers I watched erupt in a blaze of
rockets, sparkles and flashes.
Some say that Lewes Bonfire Night is un-PC. It is. But the focus of the
rebelliousness is reassuringly unpredict- able and Roman Catholics in Lewes
happily take part. In fact, my favourite vantage point for the procession is
from outside the Catholic church at the top of the town. I have stood there
pretty much every November 5 since I was 3 and have never seen anything
remotely ugly.
Lewes, Thursday, November 5. United grand procession starts at 7.40pm from
Western Road. Fireworks and bonfires in Lewes Borough, Commercial Square,
Southover, Waterloo, South Street and Cliffe at 9.30pm; lewes.gov.uk, 01273
484 004
Emma Tucker
Liverpool: ‘Space-themed music marks the Moon landing 40th anniversary’
Our local fireworks party in Sefton Park, Liverpool, is sure to be a
spectacular affair tonight, with a colossal display set to specially
orchestrated, space-themed music marking the 40th anniversary of the first
Moon landing and attracting 50,000 people who will dance and drink long into
the night. But we will not be among them; we will be staying in. Members of
our household will light not so much as a sparkler to the occasion and we
may even wear earplugs.
Last year, you see, my daughter, then 4, could barely sleep with excitement,
awaiting the same glitzy event at the same venue. In high spirits we joined
the crowds, waving the obligatory flashing plastic wands sold on all such
occasions, and joined in the countdown to lift-off. But as the pyrotechnics
exploded, my daughter’s nerves imploded as she realised that she is
terrified of firecrackers, rockets, Catherine wheels — anything, really,
that’s fiery and goes “bang”.
While other kids whooped and cheered, she cowered and trembled under my coat,
demanding to know when the sparks were going to set fire to our hair.
We lasted approximately 90 seconds, trudging off the strains of Gabriella
Cilmi (this one was choreographed to pop music to mark the MTV Awards coming
to Liverpool). She has zero interest in returning this year.
But if you are a fireworks fanatic (and I’m not, particularly — too many
traumatised pets), Liverpool does it with real panache and artistry. Council
leaders realised long ago that immense, free displays were the best way to
stop scallies making trouble and discourage random small bonfires, so there
are many events throughout Merseyside, the three biggest being at Sefton
Park, Newsham Park and Walton Hall Park, all starting at 7.30pm and with a
musical space soundtrack, including original Nasa communications and music
by, among others, David Bowie and Pink Floyd.
There is, strangely, no bonfire. You could infer from this that, as this is a
largely Catholic city, the public burning of a Catholic effigy may seem a
tad anti-Papist. This would be overreading the situation. I think it is much
more to do with health and safety rules and not wanting to scorch the nice
grass.
Sefton Park, Thursday, November 5, 7.30pm, free.
Liverpool.gov.uk/news/free_fireworks.asp
Carol Midgley
Broughton Gifford: ‘The bonfire dwarfs the houses that line the common’
Broughton Gifford may only be a small village in the Wiltshire countryside,
but on Bonfire Night it can boast a spectacular firework display.
For the past three years the fireworks on the village common have been put on
by local resident Steve Jacobs, who last month helped his company Flashpoint
to win first prize at the British Musical Fireworks Championship in
Southport.
The village bonfire dwarfs the houses lining the five-acre common — and
there’s a beer tent, hog roast and merry-go-round.
Arrive early as traffic can be a problem.
The Common, Broughton Gifford, Wiltshire, Saturday November 7. Bonfire lit
6pm, firework display 7pm. £5 adults, accompanied children free.
Simon de Bruxelles
Scotland: ‘Scots need no excuse to celebrate arson and anarchy’
Guy Fawkes, it must be said, does not hold quite the same status in Scotland
as he does in England. That much farther from Westminster, and burdened with
enough of their own half-baked plotters, the Scots have never gone quite so
overboard on the Fawkes legend as their neighbours.
Having said that, the Scots need no excuse to celebrate a bit of arson and
anarchy, and there will be numerous bonfires and firework displays tonight
and over the weekend. Just don’t expect to see a guy on top.
Big, council-run bonfires and firework displays in the large cities ensure
safety and lots of fun events. Edinburgh’s bonfire, in Meadowbank, has a
Disney theme, with acrobats and drummers, and the main Glasgow bonfire is on
Glasgow Green.
There is an alternative bonfire night in Scotland, where gangs from the
housing schemes torment the fire brigade with unofficial fires laden with
aerosols.
In my village, Gartmore in Stirlingshire, we have our bonfire on Saturday
night. Villagers gather for a soup, sausage and beans supper in the village
hall, then the (guyless) bonfire beside the football pitch is lit. Health
and safety weighs heavy on everyone’s shoulders but I only once burnt the
fingers of a child by handing her the wrong end of burnt-out sparkler. Never
told her mother it was me, now I think of it.
Edinburgh fireworks, Meadowbank, Thursday, November 5. Fireworks start at
7.30pm, entertainment from 6.30pm. Tickets £5 each. 0131-661 5351.
Glasgow bonfire and free fireworks display, Glasgow Green, Thursday,
November 5. Programme starts 4.30pm; fireworks 7.30pm. 0141 302 2845.
Melanie Reid
Best of the rest
Yorkshire: Don Valley Grass Bowl, Sheffield (Thursday,
November 5, bonfire lit 7pm, fireworks 8.30pm, adults £8, under-14s £4,
under-3s free).
Devon: In Ottery St Mary they celebrate Bonfire
Night by carrying flaming barrels of tar through the streets (Thursday,
November 5, free, rolling starts at 4.30pm).
London: A perennial favourite in southeast London is Blackheath
fireworks (Saturday, November 7, free, fireworks start at 8pm).
East Sussex: If Lewes sounds like too much, try Battle,
where the procession has a 300-year history. (Saturday, November 7, free,
procession from 7.45pm, bonfire and fireworks at 9pm) North Wales: Holyhead
Bay, Anglesey. (Thursday, November 5, adults £2.50, children free, fireworks
at 7pm).
Who's burning this year?
How hard it is these days to find a decent guy. At one time you couldn’t enter
the corner shop without stepping over a couple of urchins holding up a
straw-stuffed jumper and a pair of jeans, demanding “penny for the Guy”.
The growth of Hallowe’en and a greater intolerance of begging has all but
eradicated that slightly grotty tradition. But while the number of effigies
of Guy Fawkes going up in smoke seems to have dwindled, the trend for
torching likenesses of living people has grown. So who (or what) can you
expect to see ablaze tonight?
The three little pigs
This is likely to be the year when those deemed to be responsible for the
economy going up in smoke are themselves the target of pyromaniacs. Gordon
Brown will be popular, as will Fred “the shred” Goodwin, former chief
executive of RBS. The Hastings Bonfire Society has erected a giant effigy of
three little pigs with their snouts in the troughs, representing bankers,
politicians and NHS parking charges.
Duck houses
Anger over MPs’ expenses will leave a lot of individual MPs badly charred.
There are plans for a giant duck house to be set alight as part of a stunt
outside Parliament. Thos elected to serve there may find a discreet spot to
light a match under an effigy of Sir Christopher Kelly, whose report
recommended an end to their good life. Shopkeepers should keep an eye out
for anyone buying a can of accelerant and asking for a receipt.
Jordan
Guys can be gals. And after the tedious saga of the end of the surgically
enhanced glamour model’s marriage, who wouldn’t want to be the one to light
the match? But would you be sure you hadn’t been tricked into doing so by
her publicity machine? And such a conflagration would probably not be wholly
satisfactory. Silicone is generally heat-resistant.
Jan Moir
After the Daily Mail columnist wrote about the “more than a little
sleazy” circumstances surrounding the death of the Boyzone singer Stephen
Gately, we wonder whether she may top a bonfire or two, lit by Stephen Fry
and his Twitterati .
Mike Ashley
No Geordie pyre will be complete without the owner of Newcastle United,
especially since the announcement this week that the club’s historic ground
will henceforth be known as the sportsdirect.com@ St James’ Park Stadium.
Damian Whitworth
Build your own bonfire
If you want your own bonfire this year, you started assembling it last year.
You can’t do this last-minute, on a whim. Size matters and unless it’s huge
it’s humiliating — we’re not talking campfires here. Our home bonfire heap
for 2010 will be under assembly the moment this weekend’s is cold.
Find a place in your garden or an adjacent field, and start tipping on to it
every plank, stick, box, pallet or Leylandii clipping that comes into your
life from winter on. By November it will impress. At the last minute, move
the whole thing, in case hedgehogs have nested. Be far from overhanging
trees. Put the llamas in the next field.
Use an old broom handle to poke a generous tunnel into the centre of the
bottom of the bonfire heap, then withdraw it and strap to one end a big
wired-up bundle of rags soaked (preferably) in diesel — it’s safer than
petrol or paraffin because less immediately volatile. Overdo the rags and
the diesel, just in case, as all bonfires will ignite and go wild when — but
not before — a minimum heat threshhold is achieved at their base. Thrust
this, still on its pole, down the tunnel into the centre, lighting it as you
do. Then stand back.
Oh, and the Guy. One or two of the 30 friends you have invited, especially if
it’s a bit of a Gay Fawkes, will delight in fashioning and dressing an
oversized straw doll.
Invite guests’ suggestions as to the Guy’s identity. For tomorrow there has
been the disgraceful suggestion that we burn in effigy Mr Former Speaker
Martin: a proposal I shall strain every sinew to block.
Matthew Parris
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