Pari passu. That's the only bit of Latin Boris allowed himself when he testified about the Olympics before MPs on the Culture, Media and Sport Committee. Apparently he's clamping down on the Latin as, what with the global economic meltdown, he doesn't want anyone to see him as the modern-day Nero.

Hero or Nero, everyone loved pari passu. Few understood but it just sounded so repeatable or even singable, like Hakuna Matata from The Lion King. The moment he said it - instead of that boring old phrase “at the same time” - everyone in the packed room smiled. It was like whiff-whaff, but cultured.

Is Bojo the new Nero? His serious demeanour insisted otherwise. Catchy or not, you won't catch Boris singing Hakuna Matata (“no worries”). He insisted that he has many Olympic anxieties about cutting costs, cutting cloth, cutting down. How were his plans different from Ken Livingstone's? “The whole thinking about the Olympics has changed in the sense that market conditions have changed,” he noted drily (outside, the City was in flames), “and I don't know what my predecessor's plans were.” He almost looked round to see if Ken, who has been his shadow for the past five months, was sitting behind.

“We have to move on and do things to cut our, clothes, to suit our - whatever the expression is,” he said, adding: “Cloth!” I think he wanted to say “toga” and had to stop himself. Unlike Ken, he had been to Beijing. “Fabulous Games,” said Boris, pudgy fingers pressed together, hair rotating like helicopter blades, above him, “even if it was rather vast and rather intimidating with those great soulless piazzas.” Boris's hair whirred to a halt. “I will say one thing that is distinct between me and my ... ” - his voice now made a weird “eeeehhhhh” noise, a long barnyard noise - “illustrious predecessor!” Boris feels that the Games are about sport (it's controversial, I know). “Whatever merits he had, my illustrious predecessor was not a pure enthusiast for sport.”

Boris insists that London 2012 will not go over its budget of £9.3billion. The Tory Philip Davies asked if London would be a poor man's Beijing, noting that after five fireworks had gone off in China, Seb Coe reportedly turned to Boris and said: “That's half our budget gone up.” Boris looked stern. “I think the London Olympics will have ...” he paused. “What is the word that I want?” he cried, before announcing: “Intimacy!”

Intimacy? The Olympics? “It will be ... ”, he paused again and rumbled with a great “uhhhhhhh” before saying: “Cosier!”

Cosier? Will we be issued with pipes and slippers? No, but Boris does want to give us all “little BlackBerry-type gizmos”. These will tell you the schedule, provide instant action replays, etc. The London Games, Boris says, will be all about fun. The city would be given over to a party atmosphere. People will watch sport on giant screens or on their little gizmos while (pari passu) riding cycles. If they want to travel east, they will jump on a river boat. Or, I thought, a pedalo. It all sounded very Blue Peter-ish, though at no point did Boris mention sticky-backed plastic. Still, Beijing didn't have the Thames. The Chinese didn't have intimacy. They didn't do cosy or pedalos. Not only did we invent whiff-whaff, we invented fun. And when in Rome ...

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