Thousands of young British Asians are spurning the tradition of allowing their parents to choose their partners and are instead relying on matchmaking via the internet.

Online dating is growing increasingly popular with young Muslims, some of whom are forbidden from dating before marriage and have to accept their parents’ choice of partner. Now they can browse through potential partners online without breaking any of the rules of Islam.

According to Shaadi.com, based in India, 700,000 of its ten million members are in Britain. Meanwhile, of the 100,000 users browsing singlemuslim.com, about 10 per cent are British.

Internet dating has solved the dilemma for young people who want to choose their partner but marry within their religious and racial groups. Many dating services incorporate traditional aspects. Parents can view — and veto — potential partners on some sites, while chaperones attend any meetings between the matched couple to ensure that there is no impropriety. More than 10 per cent of the profiles on singlemuslim.com have been uploaded by family members.

When Adeem Younis started the site, which promises a “closely monitored and cost-effective matrimonial service for single Muslims”, he braced himself for a barrage of criticism.

“I thought traditionalists would be completely against the idea of an introduction agency, but the only opposition came from people who didn’t understand it or didn’t know what the internet is capable of,” he told The Times. “Now I get aunties and uncles coming up to me and saying, ‘That machine that you’ve got, can you use it to find my daughter a husband?’”

Denise Knowles, a counsellor from Relate, said that marriage websites were an extension of having family and friends introduce potential partners. “They let you design the perfect partner,” she said. “It’s a way of meeting people, and you don’t have to continue if it doesn’t work out — that’s what’s different from strictly arranged marriages.

“I have many Indian and Pakistani friends who had strictly arranged marriages, and have children who wouldn’t dream of it, but expect their parents to introduce people. They may be thinking: ‘I believe in my parent’s judgment. They won’t make the wrong choice on my behalf.’

“There’s also a huge culture of blame. People think: ‘If I make the decision on my own, I’ve only got myself to blame. I’m responsible.’ If your family picks someone you don’t like, you can relinquish responsibility if it doesn’t work out.”

Mr Younis said that he was inspired to set up his website after he attended Leeds University and found that Muslim men and women were not mixing. “Although there were lots of eligible men and women, they weren’t mixing, because Islam doesn’t encourage men and women to mix,” he said. “Everybody was at the point where their parents were pressurising them, saying: ‘Now that you’re a young professional, the next step is marriage.’”

He said that many second and third generation Muslims were turning away from traditional arranged marriages in favour of a more modern approach. “People put up a profile, and what they’re looking for — how religious they are, age, height, disabilities, pretty much everything. Then they can search for people. Everything from a basic search within an age range to every possible criteria.

“Then people get their wali, a guardian, involved. We encourage people to meet up with their guardians in public or usually the guy will go to the girl’s place. The wali can ask all the tough questions, they can get to know each other and, if they’re not compatible, they can say ‘Assalam alaikum, sorry it didn’t work out’ and continue the search.”

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